Constantly Talking Isn't Necessarily Communicating

Zingingly Zesty

2010-12-20T17:53:00.000-08:00

Christmas is upon us, quite heavily. We have snow and everything! I quite like Christmas, mostly. It's when my mother cracks out the Christmas album I tend to break down into a tearful rampage of screaming and pulling my own hair out.

Nah, I like Christmas. It's good when you ARE happy but when you feel everyone around judging you for being unhappy around Christmas just makes it worse.

There's another 'calender event' rearing it's ugly head soon. And I fucking hate it. Fucking New Years. Such a pointless... thing. I don't want to call it an event. I don't want to hear your drunken opinions on how '2011 WILL BE THE BEST YEAR EVER' and how you'll 'FINALLY MEET THE GIRL/BOY OF MY DREAMS' and/or 'SORT MY LIFE OUT'.

No. You really won't. You'll still be whiny, annoying, desperate and on the most part drunk. People don't really find that attractive, apart from the other whiny, annoying, desperate and mostly drunken people. In which case, I wish you all the best. I despise new years, people treat it like an excuse. '2010 WAS AWFUL BUT NOW ITS A NEW YEAR THINGS WILL BE DIFFERENT'. Yeah... maybe for 1 month where you'll really try to get fit, find your perfect partner, start a diet etc. Then you'll give up, wait another 11 months, replace 2010 with 2011 and start the process again. If you don't like how your life is going, do something about it then and there. New years means literally nothing. In terms of a single persons lifetime, a year is of no significance.

No, I'm not celebrating new years. Possibly a nice midnight wank at the most. I'll treat myself.

Urgh.

You're probably thinking one of three things about me right now.

1: But LbV! You've done NOTHING with your life, who are you to talk?

If you know me well enough, you'll be thinking 2:You're ALWAYS fed up of your life and you do nothing about it.

3: Did he really just tell us he's going to have a New Years wank?

For which I answer:

1. I know right?
2. I know right?
3. I know right?!

Merry Christmas and fuck your new year.

P.S. The Great Boberic says Hi.

The Christmas song I ~~suggest~~ order you to listen to is this:

Kevlar Soul

2010-12-01T04:54:00.001-08:00

How have you all been? GLAD TO HEAR IT.

Me you ask? I'm fine, thank you very much for your concern. What will I be blogging about today I hear you ask, teary eyed and shaking in anticipation. Calm down, we won't get anywhere with you in this hyperactive state, what are you, a twilight fan?

I watched Help last night. First time in many years and I must say, it's fucking brilliant. If you don't know what Help is: A: I hate you and B: It's one of The Beatles films. I had to study A Hard Days Night in film studies as part of my 60's cinema course, I was surprised to realised that I was the only one who was happy about it. You see, The Beatles have a direct line to my funny bone, even when I watched Help at 4 in the morning on my own in bed, I found myself laughing at one scene for at least 5 minutes. That is because they are hilarious, no matter what situation they get in, what danger comes upon them they just act like complete idiots. I'm not kidding myself, I know it's scripted. Their liverpudlian banter will always make me laugh.

What more could you want from a film? An outrageous plot, good comedic scenes and The Beatles. Perfect.

Me and a friend went to see the new Harry Potter last week. I know, I know... But I actually like the Harry Potter movies. You can scratch the new one off that list though. It was quite awful. Fucking Deathly Hallows Part 1, there's only one reason why they have split it into two parts. Money. They're keeping the franchise going a bit longer so they can churn out more merchandise. There was maybe 3 scenes of importance in this installment, cushioned between extended portions of Harry Potter and the Tent of the Cash Cow. Seriously, If I had wanted to see Harry, Ron and Hermione in a tent, I would have watched one of the better films IN A FUCKING TENT.

Spoilers now. So skip this paragraph if you care. The closing scene of the film is the death of one of the 'main' characters. Now, I know you're welling up already, who could it be? Ron? Hermione? Get a hold of yourself, we need to get through this, I'm just going to come out and say it... Dobby dies. Whose Dobby I hear you shout? Yeah, I wondered too. Turns out he's that little... elf? Goblin? He probably has about 5 minutes of screen time in total across all movies. Dobbys death may have actually been the most pretentious scene of all time. NOBODY FUCKING CARES. Oh no, Dobby is Harrys friend - HAND ME THE TISSUES. Ridiculous...

I've got the 3rd installment of the immensely successful movie night saga planned. Excited aren't you, well you're not invited. Unless of you course you ARE invited in which case, be excited because you're invited.

Anyway, let's round this off with another song I ~~suggest~~ order you to listen to. This one is by Kent, a swedish rock band although this is the english version of the song that they did. They kind of remind me of Placebo and Feeder.

White Witch Canyon

2010-11-22T11:53:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to share this amazing song:

Spontaneity Has Its Time And Place

2010-11-08T12:09:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I've done a spontaneous blog post about whatever comes to mind. I feel that it's time I give it another go.

I'll be honest, I've been having a bit of a tough time lately. A 'Where's my life going?' themed dilemma and although I still don't have the answer to that question I'm going to scribble down some thoughts and goings on.

I have pretty much decided I do want become a writer. No, I haven't written anything yet, which is a problem I admit. The problem is the ideas, not a lack of, I have a notepad stuffed with them. My ideas just seem more and more dull the more I develop them. There is one that is standing out above the rest that could possibly become something more substantial. No doubt, it'll be posted here if it comes to be. Keep your fingers crossed people.

Time for a cliche moment. I have recently finished a book that... changed my life. Kind of. It made me think anyway, inspired me to really get my ass into gear. It's called Replay and it's by a short lived author called Ken Grimwood, who is now my hero. Sadly he died 3 years ago, after only publishing 4 books, while writing a sequel to Replay. It's a horrible shame, I knew he was my new favourite writer only 2 chapters into the book. Replay is not easy to get hold off, I managed to get hold of my dads old worn and torn copy of it. But if you see it, please pick it up. It's a terrible injustice that it isn't more well known, Ken Grimwood needs more attention and praise. Now more than ever with Twilight, Jedward and Justin Bieber taking over the world.

Typing and saying Jedward actually makes me gag a little.

What else is new... My dad has decided to give me £100 out of nowhere. Doesn't make up for our relationship at the moment but what would he care. He's the kinda bloke that thinks anything can be fixed with money or possessions. To be honest, I doubt he even notices a problem between us. Fuck it though, I need money, so I can't complain too much.

Yes, I need money because I am STILL unemployed. I really need to double check my CV, just to see if I've accidentally written 'Does not want an interview' somewhere in there. Seriously though, Not ONE interview. Even at a pub where I supposedly have a distant relative, I should get an interview on my last name alone. But apparently not.

My teetotal way of life lasted all of 3 months before I gave in, in one night of craziness. At the time I think I needed it but I don't half regret it now. In two more days I'll be back up to one month no alcohol, this time I need dedication. Shouldn't be too difficult due to my current pepsi addiction. Twelve cans in less than two days, I shit you not. Also beat my record for amount of takeaways eaten in one week, which was four. Two curries, 1 fish and chips and 1 pizza. Not good, although I swear I've actually lost weight some how. New diet perhaps?

Apart from my very successful movie night last weekend, I've been enjoying my solitude. Time spent on your own is always good. The thing is, I can never seem to get out of it, once I'm in that mood I don't want to leave. Maybe I can force myself to go pubbing this weekend. Then once again realise the monotony of it all, how much I hate alcohol, go home disappointed and start back into my solitude. Hmm...

Here's the song I ~~suggest~~ order you to listen to. Going for my new rap obsession, give it a go:

P.S. If you know what movie the title comes from, I'll love you forever.

1 -The Darjeeling Limited

2010-11-04T18:31:00.000-07:00

Here it is, My all time most loved film of all time. Even I know my top 10 list will change in time but I am certain this movie will never get knocked down from it's spot at the top.

Where to start with this film, I really don't know.

It's a story of 3 brothers, Jack, Peter and Francis trying to reconnect with each other. A year after their fathers funeral Francis (Owen Wilson) contacts Peter (Adrien Brody) and Jack (Jason Schwartzman), asking them to meet him aboard the Darjeeling Limited, the train where half the movie is set. Francis recently had a near death experience in the form of a car crash and after recovering, realised that their relationship has broken apart. He organises the trip, as a spiritual journey, to re-establish the bond they once had and get over their fathers death.

The film fits it's creator perfectly, if you know Wes Andersons work you'll instantly recognise his trademark all over it. First and foremost, Bill Murray playing a small cameo to open the film. The overall style of The Darjeeling Limited screams Wes Anderson, there's never a dull location. Every shot of every location is bright, busy, colourful and framed beautifully. The camera directions are clearly a sign of Anderson. Where most directors would do a simple cut, Anderson always chooses to swing the camera round, like you were there yourself, turning your head to listen to the character speak. Which makes for some amazing scenes, where the camera is tranquilly floating alongside the train, peeking into the lives of some minor characters through their windows. Or frantically keeping up with a fast paced rebuttal between squabbling siblings.

As with Andersons past films, The Darjeeling Limited keeps a light hearted take on the events, adding quick humorous one lines here and a spontaneous serpent purchase there. But not completely unlike Scrubs, the film takes a serious tone in the final scenes that helps realise the 'moral tale' behind it all. Essentially the film is about the characters finding and trying to better themselves. Although it's subtle, the symbolism representing the change in Peter, Jack and Francis is there. The most obvious being held in their 11 over sized suitcases, inherited from their father. Leaving them behind to catch up with the runaway train at the end, to me, represents them losing their materialistic ways, demonstrated in the spontaneous buying of anything they see and their rich upbringing. Another thing that scene means, that I only just came to realise, is them finally ending the mourning of their dad.

Anyway, I went into essay mode there.

The performances are amazing, from every character, minor to main. Especially Adrien Brody, The Darjeeling Limited is only the second film I've seen him in, the first being Predators. And while his performance in that wasn't bad, it didn't require much to play 'Grunting tough guy #356'. His character in this allowed Brody to put in a lot more emotion. It completely changed my opinion on him as an actor, as it did Owen Wilson. To be honest it was just nice seeing Owen Wilson not starring in a film with Vince Vaughn. Last of the three main characters is Jason Schwartzman, introduced to me by this film and I instantly fell in love. Which set me up for the disappointment I felt walking out of the cinema for Scott Pilgrim. But in this, he does a brilliant job playing a brilliant character.

Last but not least, if you've read this far you're my new best friend, the soundtrack. Mostly made up of traditionally Indian sounding music, borrowed from the OST's of Satyajit Ray's films. Satyajit Ray's work was a big influence on The Darjeeling Limited, as started by Wes Anderson, hence the film being dedicated to him. As I said, the majority of the soundtrack is music scored for Ray's film but it's also spattered with mellow classic rock, including The Kinks and The Rolling Stones. They couldn't have put together a better mix of music for The Darjeeling Limited and it does the film a great favour.

I don't need to say it but I love this film. I can't get enough of it, I can't get bored of it and I can't recommend it enough. It never fails to get me completely engrossed in it and make me want to watch it again straight after the credits end.

I'll leave you with a couple of songs I ~~suggest~~ order you to listen to as always and the satisfaction of knowing my top 10 films as of 2010.

5 to 2

2010-09-24T13:10:00.000-07:00

And we're back, to continue my top 10 films of all time. Just like I said I would be, to all you doubters out there. Whatever, doubters gonna doubt. As the saying goes. Wait...

This time around I will not be embedding trailers, it looks messy. You can all work a computer, go to youtube yourself.

5. Lost In Translation

It's really difficult to pinpoint the reasons why I love this film so fucking much. I'm not even sure if I can call it a romance film. Let's break it down, the problem is that Sofia Coppola is a cinematic genius, she makes me reconsider my feelings on the two characters relationship every time I watch the film. Are they in love? Is there any sexual tension at all? Are they just good friends? Is Bill Murray actually dead and does Scarlett Johansson represent a younger version of his wife?

No to that last one but I've read a very elaborate theory stating that is the truth. I say if you're going to look that deeply to find a 'hidden plot' such as that, then you're better off watching science fiction, mkay?

I don't know what it is about this film that makes it so heartwarmingly magical to me but it just is. Lost In Translation gives me goosebumps every time he mutters that sweet secret into her ear.

4. Blade Runner

The definitive science fiction movie. Breathtaking visuals that still leave me captivated even today. Considering Blade Runner came out in 1982 that's quite a feat. Rutger Hauer's performance is haunting and to me makes the movie, he creates half the atmosphere. Not to say that Harrison Ford is any less impressive, in fact he plays Deckard superbly.

Let's say the films great atmosphere was 50% Rutger Hauer, I'm going to say the other 50% was split between the visuals (obviously and the soundtrack. A bleak industrial view of the future must have been hard to pull of on such a huge scale but it works perfectly and some of the views of the city we see are embedded in my mind so the tiniest detail. The soundtrack is beautiful, futuristic and bleak all at the same time, which is exactly what the film needed. Vangelis did a great job.

Blade Runner is the pride of my DVD collection, all 7 discs of it. That's right, 7.

3. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Not at all like Lost In Translation, I can list plenty of reasons why I love this movie.

Firstly, Jim Carrey. For once he's a character I can relate too, take seriously and connect with. For an hour and a half, Jim Carrey is not making faces. Not that I don't love Dumb and Dumber, it just gets old. To see this was a breath of fresh air.

The sheer spectacle of it all makes it worth a watch, seeing the process of him trying to hide Clementine inside his memory is awesome. Sounds like Inception... WE NEED TO GO DEEPER.

Ahem.

I love the narration to Eternal Sunshine and it really makes the movie what it is for me. Jim Carreys narration over some parts of the film sounds so genuine, you can't help but lose yourself in it.

2. Sunshine

A Danny Boyle film that was missed by most the general public, unlike nearly all his other films. The Beach, Trainspotting, Slumdog Millionaire, Millions, 28 Days Later and Shallow Grave. Chances are, if you have any interest in cinema, you'll have heard of at least 4 or 5 of those. Sunshine seemed to slip under the radar, hitting #13 in the box office and making $32 million, take into account it cost around $40 million to make.

But to me, it's Danny Boyles finest work. Set in a compact spaceship heading straight to the sun to re-ignite it with a bomb the size of a city, the crew come into some trouble along the way. First and foremost this film is a sum of it's cast, Cillian Murphy, Rose Byrne, Chris Evans, Michelle Yeoh and Mark Strong to name a few. This is one of a few science fiction films to be strongly driven by the characters rather than the plot. Ok, so toward the end it is heavily plot driven but it is a sci-fi after all. In the first half of the film, we're shown the conflicts between crew members. It really gives you a sense of the pressure they're under, stuck in those circumstances.

I'm going to leave #1 for a separate post, give it the space it deserves. But who knows when I'll get round to it. The tension is killing me.

10 To 6

2010-09-13T15:41:00.001-07:00

There comes a time in every ~~mans~~ nerds life where he/she really needs to make some difficult decisions. So, I'm going to attempt a short write up of my top 10 films of all time. Wish me luck, here we go.

10. Weird Science

Gone for some old school teen comedy here. Written and directed by the mastermind John Hughes, who would have at least 5 entries in my top 20 films. I knew I had to have Hughes movie in the list and it honestly wasn't easy to settle on one. Honourable mentions go to Breakfast Club, Uncle Buck and Planes, Trains and Automobiles. But Weird Science embodies what being a nerd is all about. It's about putting a bra on your head, wiring up a barbie and lighting some candles. This film is just easy going, over the top fun and never fails to cheer me up. RIP John Hughes.

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25q3hxlgvw4 (wouldn't let me embed)

9. Moon

Really, all I should say is that it's lead actor is Sam Rockwell and that it's directed by David Bowies' son. That's all the reasons in the world to watch it. But I'll go on to say, it's easily one of the best sci-fi movies of all time. It's been a long time since an original sci-fi graced our screens but if the wait was what it took for Moon to be created then it was totally worth it.

8. Brick

An indie film I discovered in film studies at 6th form. A very serious, very noir, very dark film with a fast paced, hard to follow plot. Some brilliantly creative filming and a young Joseph Gordon-Levitt. You really need to be awake and ready for this, the sound quality isn't the best due to the low budget and the dialogue goes by very quickly, there aren't subtitles and they use a lot of slang. It's tough following Brick but it is certainly worth it, to unravel the mystery that surrounds Brendan.

7. Before Sunrise

I'm a complete sucker for a good romance film and although the romance isn't in your face obvious, it's there and it's more heartfelt than any other romantic film I've ever watched. Except for maybe number 5 (kind of). The first of two films from Richard Linklater to make my list just goes to show how great he is. The only director to make onto my top 10 twice. Also, this is the only film on my list to spawn a sequel, if you ever need an example that breaks the 'sequels never work' rule, Before Sunset is that example. Before Sunrise is also written by Richard Linklater, along with the two leading actors. A personal favourite actor Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy. It's impossible to do this film justice by describing it, absolutely impossible. But I promise you, if you enjoy romance, even if you don't, it'll blow your mind. I love it. One more thing, the trailer doesn't do it justice either, I urge you to watch it for yourself.

6. A Scanner Darkly

The second Richard Linklater film on my list, based on the novel by Philip K. Dick. The film is stunning due to an animation technique called Rotoscoping, that I can't really describe, so you'll just have to watch the trailer. The book was based on Philip K. Dicks' personal experiences with drugs and follows Bob Arctor, played be Keanu Reeves, as a narc trying to uncover where this new drug 'Substance D' is being sourced from. I would class this as a sci-fi, noir, black comedy. Everything you could need in a film.

And there's the first half of my top 10. I will write up the final 5 another time as this is shaping up to be quite a long post. Until then...

Heaven Is Firefly Series Two

2010-09-13T15:02:00.000-07:00

Knowing me, I will probably have mentioned what you're about to read to most of you already. But it's good to get it out.

I hate 'youtube celebrities'.

I hate that people can turn from nothing to fame just through youtube. It's frustrating and it's irritating. I can admit, I'm probably quite old fashioned. My idols include Robert Smith, David Bowie, George Harrison, Bill Murray... to name a few. And well, even some of my more 'modern' heroes like Jason Schwartzman, Jack White and Nathan Fillion, they didn't need youtube. To go even further back, some of those names didn't even need the Internet to get to fame. Really frustrates me.

What it means is, that it really doesn't require too much talent, skill, hard work or creativity to get famous. And that's why the world is filled with pre-pubescent, useless, whiney bitches (*cough* Bieber *cough*) contaminating the world with their filth.

Side rant: I didn't have a grudge against Bieber till the other day when I found out about this atrocity:

http://www.bungie.net/News/content.aspx?type=topnews&cid=28515

Scroll down to the story entitled 'We're in LA!'

Justin Bieber! JUSTIN FUCKING BIEBER! How does a spineless little runt like that outdo Ron Livingston. Office Space is one of the best nerd films of all time. And Ron Livingston is fucking brilliant. Fuck you Bieber. I hope puberty makes it difficult for you.

Back on topic now, the second reason I hate 'youtube celebrities' is the ridiculous new editing style that has seeped out of vloggers like a puss out of a gaping wound. Ray William Johnson I'm looking at you. If you don't know what I'm on about, look here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1fi-n7cfDY

I refuse to embed that tripe on my blog. I didn't even watch the video but I trust him enough to be doing his little 'Oh look! Now I'm over here!' editing technique.

What is that? Seriously. Not only does he have to cut after every 4 or 5 words but he also has to change position every single fucking time. Can his audience not pay attention to a sentence spoken at regulation speed, vocalised from one position? I've managed 19 years of watching TV, films... hell, talking to people, without the need to request them to constantly move around me.

"Oh and one more thing, while you're conversing with me, would you mind just skipping the gaps between words? You know... Makes it a lot easier for me to keep up. Thanks."

No.

Anyway, I think that's enough for now and to continue the trend from my last post. Here is another song I ~~suggest~~ order you to listen to. It's by the living legend Jónsi, it's called Icicle Sleeves and has not been officially released, hence the live version. Although, with the immense fucking talent Jónsi and his band have, you can hardly tell it's not studio.

Just Got To Buy

2010-08-24T10:08:00.000-07:00

It's been said, by me, that I simply cannot save money. It's like perpetual motion or enjoying an episode of The Big Bang Theory, impossible.

Picture this, you've lost your job. You have £200 in your bank and no sign of any future pay days. You'd think that would spur you onto saving what you have for as long as you can. Maybe it would work, maybe you'd think to yourself that the sensible thing to do is limit your spending to what you need. I, however, ignored the obvious consequences until I was down to my last £40.

Thanks to my mother, I managed to get a couple weeks work with her which, as of yesterday, upped my balance to £260. We've been here before LbV... We know how much of a struggle it can be if we don't save. So what are we going to do this time?

Oh wait, you've already spent £60. LbV, you're a fool.

There are too many nice things that I don't own, they sit there taunting me. So the pre-order for Halo: Reach was made, the purchase of Dragon Age: Origins may or may not have happened and Magic Potion by The Black Keys could quite possibly be in my possession. I'd like to note I bought Dragon Age second hand, hence being able to buy two games for under £80.

As far as I'm aware, none of my followers have played Dragon Age so you might be interested in reading my review that I will write up some time after finishing. I'm going to give you my pre-playing thoughts.

I must confess, I haven't been behind Dragon Age all the way. In fact, I dismissed it pretty darn quickly. For one reason. It looked dull. Simple as that, trailers, interviews and previews all failed to impress me. The doubt was still there though, I've been wrong before (See: GTA IV) and this is Bioware we are talking about. Bioware! Creators of Mass Effect, MDK2 and the Baldurs Gate series. Surely I must be missing something, I'm hoping so. Otherwise I've wasted £10 on disappointment.

One of my favourite quotes would fit in nicely here:

"I'd far rather be happy than right any day."
"And are you?"
"No, that's where it all falls down, of course."
"Pity, it sounded like quite a good lifestyle otherwise."

To finish off this little update, I'm going to ~~suggest~~ order you to listen to The Black Keys, instantly hit my top 10 bands of all time after only one song. Absolutely superb band. That one song was Just Got To Be and the video follows:

Forget All That You Thought You Knew

2010-08-07T08:13:00.000-07:00

No longer NOT MY REAL NAME OMG. I have outgrown this moniker and am now LbV. My usual nickname. So... yeah, there it is. Embrace it, Challenge it, Deny it and finally accept it lovingly.

LbV

By Ending Do You Mean...

2010-08-06T14:22:00.000-07:00

Down to a lack of money and lack of games lately I decided to go for a cheaper option and stock up on some XBLA titles. The first of which being Monkey Island 2: LeChucks Revenge but as you may already know about my love for the Monkey Island series I'll skip straight to the second. Which is Limbo.

About once every year we get delivered something truly special on Xbox Live Arcade. In 2008 we had Braid, Last year we had Shadow Complex and this year we have Limbo. This isn't a diss at every other game on XBLA, I loved Castle Crashers, Splosion Man, Marble Blast Ultra and many others but they weren't really mind blowingly epic were they?

Limbo is, similar to Braid, a 2D side scrolling puzzle-platformer. Braid's time control gameplay mechanic was the driving force behinds its difficulty and positive reception. Then beyond that, the players who actually made it to the end had their minds blown with an unexpected twist. Then beyond THAT, the nerds sad enough to hit up their forum of choice would have then found out about the 8 hidden stars and the underlying metaphor of the story. Braid has so much to offer, all hidden in a what looks like a Mario clone.

Limbo doesn't have any control over time, doesn't have a twist per say. Doesn't really have a story in fact. It's not colourful, it's not complicated, it's not forgiving. But it is damn clever. The puzzles aren't especially complex, they just require thinking outside the box, the answers usually give you that 'Why didn't I think of that earlier!?' feeling.

If you haven't seen it at all before, the game is entirely in black and white. Which really adds to its atmosphere. Considering the character you play is a young boy you would think it would be a bit more light hearted, when in actuality it's gruesome, spooky and haunting. Nearly every mistake you make ends in the young boy dying horrifically. Just watch this and you'll see what I mean. Although I would stop watching at around 2 minutes 30 if you don't wish to see a part of the ending.

Without spoiling the ending, there is something it brings up that has started to bother me lately. So many games, movies, books and TV shows are following the trend of leaving the ending 'open for interpretation'. Inception being the latest culprit of this and even though I really did love the film and the ending, it still bugs me. Am I the only one who misses the time when writers just told a story? From beginning to end.

It's a difficult subject, some of my favourite stories have this ending. Lost in Translation and Blade Runner to some extent leave it all up in the air. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Italian Job are blatantly obvious examples. Cube, The Graduate, Broken Flowers, In Bruges, Alan Wake (game), Layer Cake, Predators, Cloverfield, Pans Labyrinth, A Scanner Darkly and 28 Weeks Later, I could continue but I won't. I have found all of these films/games thoroughly enjoyable, some more than others, and the endings don't actually annoy me. In fact in some of those cases the open ending is what makes the film so amazing. They certainly allow more discussion and theories to be conjured up too, which for movie buffs such as myself is what we enjoy doing. On the other hand my all time top 3 films are not included within this collective, Sunshine, The Darjeeling Limited and wait... Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind IS included in the above. Damn it! See what I mean? They are everywhere!

Time for me to finish this off now but I urge you to watch the above films if you haven't already. You could probably miss out Cube and 28 Weeks Later if you wish but the others, in my opinion, are essential viewing.

Brutal Legend: A Crippling Blow

2010-08-04T14:37:00.000-07:00

Time for an update. Here's some of my thoughts on my recent methods of killing time. First up is Brutal Legend.

Up till today I was pleasantly surprised by how immersed I was getting in the beautifully sculpted metal themed world, courtesy of Tim Schafer. Completely satisfied in listening to the mediocre voice acting input from Lemmy, smashing through the faces of any enemy that came my way with the limited fighting moves at hand and enjoying the story much more than I thought possible. Whether this is down to Jack Black being too darn compelling in whatever he does or not is another question but it probably helped.

This was all splendid and delightful, all the way up to the 'Battles'. Where Double Fine tried to mix two of my least favourite, or most hated depending on how you want to look at it, game genres. Third person slashers and RTS (Real-time Strategy to you cool kids). I have my reasons for disliking both, third person slashers are just too shallow and repetitive. Essentially telling you to go in that direction mashing whichever of the two different attacks you like the most. Ok ok, so there are usually a lot more moves than that but most people, me included, aren't the type of person who finds memorising combos a fulfilling gaming experience.

As for RTS games, I should state that I'm a little more lenient with. TA: Kingdoms and Age Of Empires 1 and 2 are among my most nostalgic inducing games. With RTS games, my grief is getting drawn into them. Endlessly building units and structures can be tedious but not when you're sucked into the lore of the game, the reason why Starcraft fans are so devoted I imagine. Not many RTS games have managed to have this effect on me.

Now back to Brutal legend, actually back to the Xbox 360 in general. In fact, let's go back even further. RTS games on consoles do not have a good track record, it's universally acknowledged by anyone who cares, that a console controller cannot cope with the amount of features stacked into an RTS. PC's have keyboard shortcuts, consoles rely on lots and lots of menus. What Brutal Legend has done has merged the two together while trying to keep it relatively simple.

Simple it is, fun it is not. The main reason I found it so frustratingly dull is that you are still playing through a third person slasher camera, although you can fly now. To put it simply, you're too slow, to get your units from one end of the map to the other you have to lead them slowly by the hand or post an objective within their limited range. The AI on the opposing team, obviously doesn't struggle with this and proceeds to destroy you quite quickly on most occasions.

Finally, the reason I am no longer playing this game to it's completion. Because I spent over an hour pushing the enemy back, building an army, taking over the fans and preparing for attack. When the moment finally came my entire army was slaughtered almost immediately and they enemy counter-attacked with a much smaller army than mine, yet somehow managed to finish me off with ease. You may already know that I have a low tolerance of frustration, thinking back to the Broken Controller incident thanks to the Bourne Conspiracy. Luckily my controller was not damaged today when thrown across the room surrounded by profanity. Unfortunately the same cannot be said for Tim Schafer's reputation, he gave me my beloved Monkey Island and Grim Fandango so I am a little disappointed that Eddie Riggs will not be joining Guybrush Threepwood and Manny Calavera in my gaming hall of fame.

Next up for the slaughter are The Killers. Although not a slaughter at all because I adore them.

For a long time their latest album Day & Age has been my routinely listened to 'going to sleep' album. Perfectly mellow, melodic and melon flavoured. Ok, Not the last one but I ran out of 'mel' words. It's a great album to go to sleep to and that's not meant in any negative sense, it's not too upbeat and full of sing-a-long anthems like Hot Fuss (All These Things That I've Done, Mr. Brightside, Smile Like You Mean It) so you're not worrying about whether 'she's taking a drag' or not. It's certainly not like their past material and would require several listens through to fully appreciate if you're expecting more of the same but it remains to be my favourite Killers album as much as I love the other two. Three if you count Sawdust.

I leave you with a nice taste of the album in this track, A Crippling Blow:

I plan to start up the regular updates again, hopefully I'll stick with it.

Too Much Prime For This Fine Gentleman

2010-08-01T14:35:00.000-07:00

I meant to blog this a couple weeks back, not long after it happened. I was at Farnborough Air Show on the saturday and while watching the planes do their thing (flying mainly), I overheard a conversation between a couple and their friend. This is what I assume their situation was.

They must have been about mid 40's to 50's, just to paint the picture a little better. Their conversation was.... fucking brilliant. The couple will be named Man and Woman, their friend will be named Friend for simplicities sake. Also, I will be making parts up that I don't fully remember but the parts of the conversation I am DEADLY SERIOUS ABOUT will be in caps.

Man: Have you seen Transformers yet?

Friend: No, not yet is that the one with THINGS FROM SPACE?

Man: Yeah, we watched it the other night. You know the one with MAXIMUS PRIME

Woman: It's a BRILLIANT film

Friend: IS IT IN 3D?

*Woman is unsure, turns to man*

Woman: Umm.. Uhh...

Man: IT MIGHT HAVE WELL BEEN IN 20D ON HER TV *LAUGHS*

*All laugh*

I want to summarise but... is it really necessary? I mean, their first big mistake was watching the film to begin with but then to go on and call him Maximus Prime, I hate the Transformers franchise and even I know it's OPTIMUS Prime.

Well, I just googled Maximus Prime (just in case) and apparently he/it exists too but not in the movie. So does that make them so stupid that they're actually quite clever? Or just lucky? Or just moronic?

I'm backing option 3.

Also, If anyone can explain why that 20D joke was funny please leave a comment. Maybe it's an old person joke.

Not Actually Blogging...

2010-07-02T14:56:00.000-07:00

Just shamefully plugging.

http://thismonkeysgoneapeshit.blogspot.com/

New omegle's up for the world to enjoy.

Jonsi - The Review

2010-05-31T16:31:00.000-07:00

I'm still in the early stages of my life, there is plenty more on the horizon. Yet, somehow I know that Jonsi's concert was the best concert I've been to and will ever go to.

They put on something truly spectacular. Most gigs, I find, you don't realise how special it was until afterward, when you're re-living it in your head. But Jonsi made me constantly aware of what an amazing time we were all having, everyone in the room knew how brilliant that show was while watching it.

The crowd were great too, I wondered what kind of audience Jonsi attracts from the UK. As expected I was one of the youngest there and most of them dressed like Phoebe from Friends. But they were still wonderful, very friendly as well. I was second in the queue and we immediately got talking to the groups of people in front and behind us, even sat next to them in the end. Half of the atmosphere created was from the crowd, they weren't like a rock band's crowd. I wasn't worried that I was going to get pick pocketed by these people.

One moment that sent shivers down my spine was when Jonsi finally emerged from backstage and the whole room which had previously been filled with chatter, even through the opening act albeit quiet chatter, went deadly silent. Absolute golden silence. It was chilling, then Jonsi started playing Stars in Still Water on his acoustic. Never has a completely new song captivated me so easily. The ending of that song was met with an overwhelming applause, his fans are very devoted, me included.

The visuals that accompanied the show were breathtaking, I just couldn't look away. Apparently the stage was meant to represent an abandoned taxidermist shop, to go with the albums theme of animals. Scattered around the stage was 4 boxes, supposedly display cases for stuffed animals. They were all smashed or dented in some way and the back of the stage was covered by a giant curtain that looked like Jonsi's album cover but without Jonsi on it. But what was really impressive was the projections. The second song, Hengilas, included a typical old wildlife textbook page. Drawings of various birds with their names next to them, now that doesn't sound to impressive but as the song went on the page slowly caught fire from one corner and burnt across the wall. Out of the fire came hundreds of butterflies flying around the rest of the backdrop.

'Kolnidur' had it's own little film of an animated outline of a wolf chasing a deer through the woods. As the song reached it's climax the speed of the chase picked up and the wolf transformed into an owl chasing a mouse and then into a hawk chasing a bird. At the end of the song the massive sheet dropped from the back of the stage and revealed a huge set of what looked like green house windows, once again randomly broken, deformed and smashed. My personal favourite song 'Grow till tall', also the final song of the night, had a rain storm projected on the windows. It gradually got wilder and wilder until it went dark and the only light source was the frantic lightning flashes.

Jonsi's band were great, I don't know who any of them are apart from his partner Alex. It's also impossible to say which instrument they were all playing as they switched so often. Only one drummer though and he really went for it. When listening to the album I never took notice of the drums, they're pretty quite in all the studio versions but live it was nearly the dominant part of every song. At one point the drummer was simulating a heart beat with the bass drum, it was so loud I felt the floor shake and Jonsi was scraping his pick along the strings to re-create wood creaking. Such an amazing atmosphere.

The show only lasted around an hour 20, which was a shame but he doesn't have that much material. We were treated to a audience particpating birthday song for one of the crew though, he looked reluctant to get on stage but we welcomed him whole-heartedly. Jonsi found it most amusing.

I just wanted to write my experiences of that night down while they were still fresh in my mind. Hope you enjoyed reading it and I hope you all go youtube/google him now and have your minds blown. I will be going to see him again in November hopefully in the exact same venue!

All for now!

Skip to around 1:22 for the wolf chasing deer scene I mentioned, just to give you a better picture.

Blogs Have Feelings Too... Apparently.

2010-05-20T11:59:00.000-07:00

Hello there blog. It's been a while. What's new?

Oh wait, you're a blog, the only activity you get is from what I write down. Doesn't sound like much of a life. Then again neither does mine, touché blog.... touché.

Ok, well for some reason this is in italic and it won't let me change it so you'll have to deal with it. I guess it really took offense to that last comment. I sure learnt my lesson. I've got egg on my face.

No seriously, fuck off italics.

Now? Fuck sake.

Anyway, Final episode of Ashes to Ashes tomorrow evening, excited people? I sure am, although slightly concerned at the same time. A couple of reasons.

1. If Gene and Alex get together then I shall be pissed. It's just a unnecessary sub-plot. There is no need or want for something like that. Plus she's way too good for him.

and

2. In the past week my curiosity has lead me to read up on some of the current theories, some of them very out there and very complicated. Most of them, in my opinion, are crap also. I don't want everyone to be in Gene's head, not Alex's. It's too obvious for a twist. I also do not want Alex to take Roy, Chris and the weird looking girl back to also be in coma's of some sort and return to the present day with Alex. That would also suck. I want something devious and dark, something that's going to frighten me a little, something really sinister. As for what that could be, I don't know. But I'm not the writer of Ashes to Ashes am I?

I'm going to be sad to see it go, we don't get much Keeley on our TV screens and she's great. She needs to be a bigger star, I love her. Also no matter what part she's playing, close your eyes and it's instantly Tomb Raider.

While I think of it actually, Can anyone suggest some good books or authors for me to try out? I just finished Long Way Down by Nick Hornby which I did enjoy but it's a bit plain for my tastes. No twists, turns, killing or anything paranormal. Ala Stephen King style. So I want something a bit freaky and I've run out of King. Any thoughts?

Anyway, Must dash. Sorry about the italics old chum. Toodles.

P.S. I now realise it's made the last 2 paragraphs extra small. What is up with this thing? It won't let me change the font size back either. I SAID I WAS SORRY.

Hey Blog Post, You're not interesting to read.

2010-05-04T17:00:00.000-07:00

Was tired. No longer. Need sleep. Not happening. Fuck sake.

WHATS WRONG WITH ME READER?
(Reader was not a typo of readers. I was trying out humor.)

(I will not be trying it again.)

Seriously though, I can't fucking sleep.... EVER. Or EVAR as someone I know would say.

So here I am. Cranking out the new Deftones album on spotify. Completely un-tired. Talking in staggered sentences. Transmitting my random drivel directly into your face-brain.

On another note, This dog is not a koala:

For more like this, please go to: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/buzzkilling

Fuck sake, so bored. The new Deftones album is really kick-ass though.........................................

Now that's what I call an abundance of full stops!

Fuck you, you're all asleep. Therefore have no right to judge.

...

YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME

Whatevs. Not your friend anymore.

Fuck me this is dull. Leaving now.

Final thought:

I wonder if this could qualify for the Guinness world record for worst blog entry ever (evar).

END

A Cookie's Dilemma

2010-04-30T13:30:00.000-07:00

Luke practically fell into his bedroom, he was so tired. On the way to the bed he noticed a small dark brown entity lying on the floor. This confused Luke, he was already very tired and did not remember leaving any small dark brown anythings on his floor. His initial reaction was panic, overwhelming fear and a small girlish recoil.

Standing over this tiny mystery object like a giant, Luke starts to think about what to do about his new situation. Where has this object come from? What does it want? Is it friendly? What's his name? Is it even a he? What should I do?

An hour passes... A decision has been made, Luke decides to crouch down for a further inspection. Slowly decreasing his altitude, Luke soon realises what this foreign creature is and upon the recognition, he deduces how it reached this average bedroom in this small English town.

It's a piece of cookie, clearly fallen from the complete cookie that was consumed yesterday. Luke stares at the remnants of the cookie, contemplating his next move. The cookie piece stares back.

'You're going to throw me in the bin now aren't you?' says the cookie remnant.

'I was considering that option, yes.' replies Luke.

'Well...' the cookie remnant sighs. 'I'd rather you didn't.'

'Oh? And why's that?'

'Us cookies... We're all brought up with the dream of being eaten. It's our destiny if you will.' the cookie remnant explains.

Luke rudely interrupts 'I don't believe in destiny or fate or all that shit.'

'Well we do! Now let me finish!' the cookie remnant outbursts.

'Sorry, Please go on.'

'I understand your human ways, some of you believe in a so called afterlife.'

Luke goes to object once again but the cookie remnant continues his monologue.

'For us cookies, our after life resides in your stomach. When you picked up my packet, I was overjoyed. Now is my time, I thought. Then you dropped me, separating me from all my biscuit brethren. For the past day I've been ever so upset. I even tried to grasp the attention of one of your cats. But she just wasn't interested. It's been a cold, dark, lonely night for me, led here, helpless on your floor. All I've had for entertainment is my thoughts. I've been planning this speech all night, hoping that you would find me and give me one more chance. Praying that you didn't enter with a vacuum cleaner. Now here I am, before you, pleading for you to devour me, send me to my final resting place, with the rest of my delicious family. Eat me! Please Luke, Eat me!'

Luke stares at the cookie remnant once more, this time with a hint of sadness in his eyes. The cookie remnant stares back, his lip quivering over the impact this single moment will have on his life. The silence becomes obvious but the cookie feels that they have shared a moment, made a connection, maybe Luke will see it from his perspective.

This dilemma is most distressing for Luke. In the few short moments that they have known each other, Luke feels likes this young cookie has become his friend. He wants what is best for this cookie, he should eat him. But on the other hand he has just eaten a big curry and feels quite sick.

'I'm chocolate chip' says the cookie, trying to sway Luke to his plea that little bit more.

'What do you say? Will you do me this one last favor and eat me? ' concludes the cookie.

'No' says Luke abruptly. 'You've got hairs on you.' and quickly scoops up the cookie remnant, tossing him into the bin. Ignoring the high-pitched squeal of the cookie, tumbling to his eternal agony in the bin.

THE END

That, my friends is NOT what just happened but a more interesting way of telling you, I just picked up a piece of cookie and threw it in the bin.

Grow Till Tall

2010-04-28T13:20:00.000-07:00

I'm in a blogging mood but with no actual content to write about. Ramble? OK!

Download fest is only 41 days away now. Starting to feel the hype... and the fear. Honestly, I was a little terrified last year. Everyone is so much bigger and more metal(!). Most of them are nice people though, it really does have a friendly atmosphere but you can't help but think 'Oh shit!, I'm going to die!' ESPECIALLY when 'the infamous P' calls two people with dreadlocks lesbians, one of them being a man.

We didn't really meet any new people last year, I lent the two people next to our tent my sun tan lotion because they forgot theirs. So they were friendly to us for the next few days. The Scots opposite us were pretty cool, we got talking to them a little and they gave us all their left over beer before they left. Last but not least were the 4 women a bit further up the hill from us who we had a 'shouting out things that rhyme with butt-scratcher' game with. Margaret Thatcher was a personal favourite. They came over to us and took a photo of us for some reason. Not WITH us, just of us. Why they would want that I don't know but oh well.

What else did I learn from last year?

This year I will be bringing less clothing and more money/food. I had way too much clothing last time, it was unnecessary.

Relying on rolled up hoodies for pillows was another mistake. Sleeping on those, combined with the headbanging wasn't fair on my neck.

More booze. Enough said really. I have already received a nice big 70cl (that's 26.3 units!) bottle of Smirnoff PREMIUM vodka. (The word premium always makes me laugh a little.) If I do not consume the rest of the vodka, it will be taking a trip to Donnington with me but lately I've been playing 'add a little vodka to anything in a cup' and winning spectacularly.

Food was a problem. Nobody could be fucked to clean up the pans after using them so I resorted to hardly using them. Cold Macaroni Cheese from a can seems like a good idea till about half way through. Then the nausea sets in. The decision has been made to bring a cool bag, good idea I thought. OK, it won't last the whole weekend but it'll be good for a while.

WHAT ELSE IS NEW?!

Cemetery Junction is great, I was half-expected to be disappointed after the poorly received Ghost Town and Invention of Lying. Then I remember Smerch had nothing to do with those. As much as I like Ricky Gervais, I don't think he's funny without Stephen Merchant. Gervais was amazing as David Brent but then Andy Millman was just a dulled down version of Brent and every subsequent role has just been Millman. This is true in Cemetery Junction. Although he's not in it for long. Neither is Merchant but his fingerprints are clearly all over the film. When they are writing Gerv needs Smerch.

One last thing, Karl Pilkington has a 1 second cameo. It's easily the best 1 second of the film. Me and only 2 others laughed at it in the cinema. I felt awesome, I felt like I was in a cult. I'm a Pilkaholic and so were they.

All for now!

Screenplay Cont.

2010-04-20T13:26:00.000-07:00

Finally, work has continued on my screenplay. If you wish to remind yourself of the first part it can be found here. Once again the layout may go a bit weird but tough poopies! Also I changed the ending of the last part so I added the last paragraph of the first section of screenplay so it makes sense. That sentence didn't make sense. Ah well. It hasn't been spell checked or proof read so keep your grammar corrections to yourself Reckoner.

I'm not overly happy with this update of the screenplay but I still enjoyed writing it, hopefully you'll enjoy reading it. Please feel free to tell me what you think in the comments. Here goes!

Richard stops half way through a bottle of water and looks around the store again. He heads towards some cheap backpacks and brings one back to the drink counter and places more water bottles into his bag as well as his flashlights. He walks around the shop, packing any food that hasn’t gone off into his bag then leaves, eating a chocolate bar.

22. INT. SERVICE STATION LOBBY 22.

He calmly looks around the entrance lobby to locate the bathrooms. Seeing them in the far corner he limps towards the gents.

23. INT. GENTS TOILETS 23.

The lights are off; the room is nearly pitch black. Cautiously Richard wonders in. He reaches behind him, aimlessly fondling the bag looking for the zip. Eventually he finds a flashlight and looks around the room. He heads over to the mirror and looks at his reflection.

RICHARD
(whispering)
Fuck…

His face is covered in dried blood and he has severe bruising down the left side of his face. Wincing in pain he takes his shirt off, examining even more bruises and cuts. He washes the blood off of himself as best as he can but it still shows.

RICHARD
They must have some medical supplies around here somewhere.

As fast as he can walk, he returns back to the shop.

24. INT. SERVICE STATION SHOP 24.

Rounding the edge of the counter he spies the medical box, crouching down and opening it he empties the contents into his arms and rushes back to the toilets.

25. INT. GENTS TOILETS 25.

Richard drops everything into the sink and rummages through to find some bandages. He washes his wounds off again and carefully bandages his chest and shoulder. Painfully he puts his shirt back on and leaves.

26. INT. SERVICE STATION 26.

Richards flashlight cuts out suddenly, he looks down at the flashlight and shakes it, the light flickers on and off but finally fades away. He looks up from the flashlight and sees a dark figure stood in the door way. The figure looks feminine and is completely motionless, arms at their side.He jumps and instinctively steps backwards against the wall.

RICHARD
Hello?

The dark figure doesn’t reply. Richard quickly returns his focus to the flashlight and bangs it with his palm. The flashlight springs to life, he brings the light up to the door way but the dark figure is no longer there. Richard runs out the door and into the car park.

27. EXT. CAR PARK 27.

The car park is lit up by the moon, the pavement is glistening with rain and puddles. The car park is scattered with empty cars, many with the doors left open, their owners spread on the ground beneath.

He continues sprinting across the car park looking for this mystery person. Richard starts to slow down to a stop, his breath is heavy and fast. He stops completely, falling onto a car bonnet to keep himself up. His breathing even louder now, he reaches into his pockets, emptying the contents onto the floor. Not finding what he is looking for he tries his other pocket with no luck. Richard pats his back pockets and shirt pocket trying to find this item. Richard is gasping for air. Falling to his knees he groans. Falling onto his hands now he winces in pain and closes his eyes and finally falling completely over onto the wet ground.

A long shot of the car park shows Richard as a small white silhouette on the ground in a vast empty car park.

28. FLASHACK INT. RICHARDS APARTMENT EARLY EVENING 28.

Richard is stood in the kitchen when Anne walks in the front door.

ANNE
Hey hon-
(Getting cut off by RICHARD)

RICHARD
(Sternly)
I know.

ANNE
What?

RICHARD
I know…

ANNE
What are you on about Richard, are you ok?

RICHARD
I saw the letter confirming your appointment Anne, I KNOW.

Anne looks into his eyes for the first time since the conversation began, Richard has been staring at her intensely throughout. Unable to maintain eye contact she looks away again and goes to get a drink of water.

RICHARD
Well?

ANNE
You weren’t supposed to see that. How DID you see it?

RICHARD
I went through your office.

ANNE
(In disbelief)
You went through my office! What makes you think you can root around my things Richard!

RICHARD
(Raising his voice)
You really think that’s the biggest issue right now? I’ve seen the fucking letter Anne!

ANNE
Why were you even IN my office?!

RICHARD
I was looking for something, it doesn’t matter. I found something else instead didn’t I?

ANNE
You had no right Richard.

RICHARD
In light of what I know now I think it was entirely justifiable, were you ever going to tell me?

ANNE
It’s nothing to do with you

RICHARD
(Repeating Anne)
It’s nothing to do with me?! What the fuck is that supposed to mean! How can it possibly be nothing to do with me? This isn’t something you should be doing alone, you should have fucking told me. You know you should have.

ANNE
(Quietly)
It’s complicated. I don’t want to discuss this now.

RICHARD
(Sarcastically)
Oh well please tell me when you’re ready; it’s clearly no big deal. You’re such a bitch Anne, this is too fucking far.

Anne goes to the drinks cabinet and reaches for a bottle that is no longer there. She turns to Richard.

ANNE
Where’s the vodka Rich? Have you… Have you been drinking?

RICHARD
So what if I have?

ANNE
You’ve been teetotal for years! Why are you drinking? How much have you had? Where’s the bottle?

RICHARD
I think I’m allowed a drink after what you’ve done.

ANNE
Where is the bottle Richard.

Richard dramatically points to the cupboard under the sink. Anne opens the cupboard and pulls the bottle out of the bin. The bottle is empty, she looks in disbelief and turns back to Richard.

ANNE
You drank a half a bottle of vodka… Half a fucking bottle!

RICHARD
Fuck you, I can do what I like.

ANNE
I’m not going to talk to you while you’re drunk, Go to bed.

RICHARD
I feel fucking great, thanks to you and your little secrets. You know what? I don’t want to look at you anymore, I’m going out.

ANNE
Where are you going to go?

Richard pushes past Anne, she grabs his arm trying to stop him. He turns and pushes her backwards violently. She is forced back onto the counter, putting her arms out to steady herself. Richard exits the house leaving the door wide open.

29. EXT.MANCHESTER STREETS 29.

Anne follows after him but Richard drunkenly starts running. She loses track of Richard, Anne keeps up the chase, desperately looking for him. COUGHING can be heard nearby. Anne rounds a corner to find Richard sprawled out on the floor, breathing heavily and coughing.

She rushes over to him, crouching down and lifting him up and sitting him against the closest wall.

ANNE
Where’s your inhaler Rich?

Anne grasps all of his pockets in a panic, the inhaler is not with Richard.

ANNE
Fuck, fuck! Where is it Richard!

Richard continues to cough violently, he is struggling to breath properly. The deeper breathes he takes the worse it become, each breath louder and more desperate then the last. Anne runs back to the house. Richard is holding his chest in pain and rolling on the floor. It begins to rain lightly. Richard tries to get up, using the wall to lean on he stands up. One step and Richard gives in, collapsing to the ground and passing out.

Reckoner can't title blog posts for toffee.

2010-04-13T12:48:00.000-07:00

This post is just for me to rub it in that I'm happy for once. Some things have happened recently that in all logical thought should end in me being depressed but they've made me feel a hell of a lot better.

I don't think it's appropriate to go into those events but if you are close enough to me then you know them already.

I've felt it before, like I've changed and things will be easier for me and it's always turned out to be bullshit. The next week I'm back to where I was before, depressed and fed up.

This time though... I do really feel different different, Ok it won't last forever. For the time being though, I'm genuinely happy.

Don't believe me do you? Well today right... I went for a walk! On my own, with some music, out in the sun. I NEVER do stuff like that. I thoroughly enjoyed it too. It's something I need to be happy to do.

Walks are odd like that. They can either be the most uplifting event of your day or the thing that brings it all crashing down. When I'm upset I usually go for walks and it makes things much worse for me. But when you're just in a good mood and you want to go outside then it's such a good feeling, being completely alone, out in a field somewhere, with nobody aware of where you are. Got Jonsi's solo album playing in one ear and the silence of nature in the other. It's pretty awesome.

Might walk again tomorrow! I know right!

Anyway that's me done for today.

R&F'R

2010-04-10T11:21:00.000-07:00

Been listening to Slash's new album today and yesterday. It's really good, a lot better then I expected. It plays out well as a full album, I was expecting it to sound a little bit... disjointed. Couldn't think of the word, hopefully that will do.

Some surprises were Fergie's song Beautiful Dangerous, which is my second favourite track and Alice Cooper/ Nicole Scherzinger's song. A nice surprise there also.

My favourite track without a doubt is Gotten with Adam Levine, of Maroon 5. Brings me back to my indie/pop days. A lot of Maroon 5 was played in my room, Their first album... Songs About Jane;,Is probably one of my favourite albums of all time as sad as that sounds. But don't knock it till you've tried it. Adam Levine has a great voice, no matter what you say.

I was thinking today, if Slash did a follow up album. Who would I like to see on it?

Firstly, Jack White of course. Apparently he was asked to appear on it but he would only play drums and Slash wanted him to sing, which is a shame. Would have been a great pair-up. Second Alison Mosshart of The Dead Weather, another great vocalist. Amy Lee of Evanescence would obviously be a good choice. Who else... If them being alive wasn't a concern. Kurt Cobain and John Lennon would be amazing.

Well, I have a room full of burly men so I'll finish this another day.

Sorry about that, Room is now empty of burly men and I shall continue.

John Lennon and Slash would be an odd combination, I like to think they would write something fantastic though. An instrumental with Jimi would be immense too, I don't think human ears would be able to handle it.

Back to the living. Zack De La Rocha of Rage Against The Machine would be a funky addition, get some rap/metal in there. Jared Leto! How did I not think of him straight away, Jared Leto has an fantastic voice. They would create something special if it ever happened. The more I talk about this hypothetical second album the more I want it to happen. The first one only came out a couple days ago and I'm already asking for a sequel.

Others that came to mind:

Matt Bellamy
Vince Neil
Bruce Dickinson
Billy Joe Armstrong/ Tre Cool
Myles Heskett
Grant Nicholas
Brian Johnson

All for now!

Spoilt Little 18 Year Old!

2010-04-08T11:55:00.000-07:00

Today is my last day of being 18. Seems a bit sad really. I think after 18 you realise you're actually getting older. Up to 18 is great because it's one step closer to alcohol each year. After 18 it's just getting older. Next year I'll be 20... 20! Fucking crazy talk. It got me thinking, So far what do I have to show for my time on earth and not wanting to get all depressed I tried to think of good things. Things that make me smile and things that sound vaguely impressive. I've tried me hand at trapeze, jumping off a very tall wobbly pole is not my idea of fun it turns out but I jumped off as far as I could anyway. What else have I done?

Midnight quad-biking in the snow at the park, also scary. Flooded a German hotel, Been in a bus crash in Belgium. I've met Gillian Anderson, I've been to the BBC centre. I managed to get a few qualifications at school, I survived Download Festival. I've learnt to play the drums and even got up the nerve to play on stage... once.

I know that isn't a big list but it's just the things that popped into my head first.

Enough of the reminiscent positive outlook, back to my good old negativity. So, I ventured into Pizza Hut today and there was quite a queue. As expected midday on a half-term. We took our place at the back of the queue and waited patiently but the waitress comes through and says to us 'Is it just two of you?'
To which we replied 'Yes'
Because there was just two of us, logic you see?

Back on topic! Ok! We replied yes and she asked us to follow her to a table because there was a spare 2 person table free. Fair enough, I thought. Clearly the woman and her 18 children who was in front of us, queue-wise, disagreed. The word she murmured at me under her breath was 'Spoilt' I believe. Now... I'm sorry if you want to take your 18 children to Pizza Hut in half-term and not expect to wait. But that's how life goes and if you really want this 2 person table then by my guest, see how THAT works out for you. It isn't like we pushed past them demanding to be seated. We were prepared to wait. So fuck off you hag, you don't know me. I hope your pizza was cold.

Mine... was not. It was actually quite belicious. That is my very own word that means better than delicious. Amazing wordsmith no?

What else to say... Kick-Ass is fucking brilliant. So much better then expected and honestly one of my favourite action films of all time. Call me a fanboy or whatever you want, I'm not over-hyping it, my love for that film is genuine. Kick-Ass also gave me a new appreciation for the song Bad Reputation by Joan Jett.

That's all for now, must dash. You see it's my birthday tomorrow and I have many many plans*.

*Many many plans: See No plans whatsoever.
I don't really do birthdays. A preferable birthday to me, is get up sometime after 1. Slouch about opening presents and proceeding to play/watch/listen/use them until I'm tired enough to go to bed.

Saturday night however is another matter. Liver damage here I come!

One last thing. Big news I have divorced my fake celebrity wife Davina. She was heartbroken of course but she wants to stay friends. I've met another woman you see...Amy Lee <3

And for a second you thought I had met a girl for real... You silly silly person

'You just put the bulk of our nest egg into a movie called Vagina Town...'

2010-04-01T16:51:00.000-07:00

The Great Boberic has graced with a omegle chat. It doesn't happen often, so go over here, read it and then follow the blog. Yes, yes... shameless self-plug, who cares. JUST DO IT!

As for the title, Californication. Which I am currently watching.

The Boredom Room: The Lost Chapter

2010-03-30T14:53:00.000-07:00

Guess what I discovered in the midst of an epic adventure. A lost chapter of the boredom room. Here for you to enjoy. Yes, Yes. My real name has been revealed yet again. Get over it. I still wish to be referred to as Mage NMRNOMG.

Boredom Room: The Lost Chapter

*Jamie really needs to fart

*he does so*

*Luke inhales*

"pubs closed" he says

*Lukes eyes melt*

*Jamie gazes in horror, awe and disgust yet feels oddly aroused*

*he muses*

*Luke grows new eyes*

*Jamie turns and says "cool"

*then "I just lost the game"*

*'damn' Luke exclaims and then slaps the army of two AI*

*Jamie simply chooses another song to listen to, quickly settling on dropkick murphys*

*once paramore has finished*

*Lukes continues his all week nothing but finch fest*

*Jamie laughs with delight and wonders aloud whether Luke is sure he can keep it going for the whole week*

*Luke knows he cannot since he is going to see the cure thursday and is almost certain they dont play finch songs*

*Jamie accepts that that is a fair point*

*Luke says 'i could ask them'*

*Jamie says "maybe if you asked nicely?"*

*i think the crowd would get angry Luke replies*

*"another good point" says Jamie*

"he adds " i wanna play mass effect, but my dad is being annoying*

*Luke rofls*

*Jamie joins him *

*just for funsies*

*rofling over*

*Jamie expresses his annoyance that his mother forgot to buy him a guiness for st patricks day*

*Luke sympathises but at the same time doesnt care because he doesnt like guiness*

*there wasnt even magners irish cider*

*Lukes cries a single cider tear*

*Jamie laps it up enthusiastically*

*Luke wonders why hes getting shot from behind when theres nobody there*

*Jamies wonders whether theres a ghost*

*maybe its the ghost of useful AI*

*Jamie says that useful is a relative term*

*Luke once again cracks out the gravy jug*

*its been a long time says Jamie*

*Luke spills gravy all over his face and hair*

*Jamie laps some more*

*Luke shows his hatred for AI by biting his jaw off*

*Jamie agrees even though he has no idea jsut how bad the AI is*

*Luke wonders why Jamie is thinking about the AI when somehow luke just bit his own jaw off, he wants to ask but he cant*

*Jamie answers the question which wasnt asked by saying that he got confused and thought that Luke had bitten the AIs jaw off and apologises profusely*

*Luke would accept but he cant*

*Jamie wonders why he jsut doesnt nod his head*

*Luke grabs a piece of paper and pen from the guy next to him and starts to scribble vicously*

*Luke shows the Jamie the paper which reads: Im scared of nodding and then a picture of a smiley face*

*Jamie understands, nodding can be scary sometimes, so he goes over and turns the light on*

*Lukes space where jaw used to be bleeds*

*it dawns on Jamie the seriousness of biting off ones own jaw*

*Luke doesnt care anymore as he has just killed 150 people with the pistol and we all know what that means*

*urrm ?*

*no it means Gamerscore room time, Luke leaves to the gamerscore room *

*Luke returns it was too nerdy in there*

*Jamie is sad for the short space of time Luke was gone*

*Luke laughs and then realises he cant so doesnt*

*Jamie runs over to the spare jaws shelf and attatches it to Lukes face*

*then attatches it correctly*

*Luke has some trident and goes to offer some to Jamie before dropping it in to his gravy*

*Jamie doesnt recognise the name trident*

*Luke looks schocked and offers him some non gravy ruined fruity chewing gum known as trident*

*it is now Jamie remembers what trident is*

*Luke screams 'She burns*

*it is time for Jamie to leave boredom room as he has found something to do which doesnt involve this pc*

*he waves and leaves hoping Luke can exit soon*

*Luke waves and is pretty certain...he wont*

*Jamie is sad but then >poof!< size="5">THE BOREDOM ROOM.

Till next time folks.

P.S. It won't let me title this post. I don't know why.

P.P.S Now it has done. There was much rejoicing.

Gaming Rant

2010-03-25T13:19:00.000-07:00

NMRNOMG here, I'm here to state that I am a gamer. I am proud to be a gamer and I loved gaming. There is nothing wrong with it, it's not driving me into episodes of crazy violence.

This is what I thought, until of course Alan Titchmarsh told me otherwise. Of course we all know Alan Titchmarsh as one of the most respected figures in the video game industry and therefore has a vast knowledge of the inner workings of said industry.

Or is he in fact just a ex-TV gardener, now day time TV show presenter for audiences with the average age of 190. So when the powers that be over at ITV decide that they need to run a piece of video gaming, who do they turn to first? Whose the obvious choice to break down the barriers between us nerdy basement dwellers and the general non-gaming public? You guessed it, Alan Titchmarsh.

That's right folks recently on the Alan Titchmarsh show, the subject of discussion was violence in video games and the effect that it has on the players. He was joined with Julie Peasgood (of course) an actress who was once in Brookside, The Bill and other shit like that. Kelvin MacKenzie, ex-editor of the Sun but obviously has no knowledge of video games proven by the fact that in the video at the end of this post, he calls them game videos. Lastly and by no means least, Tim Ingham, the editor of one of my favourite gaming sites, Computerandvideogames.com.

Onto the actual discussion. Firstly Titchmarsh starts us off by saying that cinema's have age ratings to stop under-age people getting into more mature films whereas games can be accessed in the home. I would like to point out that not only is he so unfamiliar with video games that he doesn't know they HAVE age ratings. Also has he not heard of DVD's? Can they not be accessed in the home?

Then fucking Julie 'I don't deserve to have my over opinionated, completely bias face on TV' Peasgood comes in saying that video games promote racism, sexism, hatred and reward violence. Having played many video games over the years, I can honestly say that I have never encountered a game that truly promotes sexism or racism, I think that's clear by the fact that she has NOTHING to back up her claim. Obviously people are going to read too much into things, that will always be true, yes there are games with female enemies but that doesn't make it sexist. As for hatred? I don't think games are to blame for hatred, everyone hates someone or something and that has also always been true. I think the human race was in touch with that emotion before video games came along. Rewarding violence, I guess I can't really disagree with that one to an extent, yes some games in a way reward your violence by letting you finish the level or win the game etc. But I don't consider most games to really be violent, the worst offender for that is Manhunt or Postal and they got banned nearly everywhere anyway.

Next they talk about the studies showing how violent video games have an effect on children, aggression, depression, low self-esteem etc. The thing is though, I can accept that. I could see why it would have an impact on the younger players. But that isn't the point, the video games aren't really the ones that should be blamed. That's down to bad parenting. There is stuff in games that children shouldn't see hence the age ratings but if the parent wants to give their 4 year old child GTA then sure the parent should be the one under the hammer, not Rockstar games.

They really don't understand the nature of video games. The people in that room, excluding Tim Ingham, aren't seeing the point. Gamers don't play games because they want to see the violence and play a part in that, you don't go and see films because they are gory, with the exception of Saw possibly. You got to the cinema for the story, what nabs your interest is the plot and it's exactly the same with games. OK, there is a little more to it then that, with games you have to consider how it plays out, the graphics, the re-playability etc. The point is we don't go out and choose our games by whichever one allows us to do the most damage to computer generated people, we pick them because of the story. They don't seem to understand that, if they were being rational they could pick the exact same argument with films but they won't and why? Because films have been established as an every day thing, going to the cinema is seen as socially acceptable whereas games are still relatively new and I think people have been stereotyping us gamers for so long that they refuse to see anything else.

Finally Julie Peasgood says 'I am categorically against violence for entertainment.' That's very good and thank you for sharing that, simple solution to that problem. Don't play video games, not that I expect she ever has. But Julie... I would like to remind you of your work doing a voice over in 2000 for a survival horror VIDEO GAME called Martian Gothic: Unification. I honestly don't know anything about this game but I do know survival horror games usually include trying to survive by killing things that disagree with you being alive. How contradictory do you want to get Julie? Go play in traffic I say, SHIT, Did the video games make me say that? No, you being an ignorant old bat made me say that.

There is currently a petition going for an apology from the Alan Titchmarsh show that if you are interested in this I urge you to sign. It also shows some interesting points, apparently the audience were encouraged to boo Tim Ingham. Just goes to show how bias they really are.

http://playstuff.tumblr.com/post/471266385/ignorance

Here is the discussion:

I realise most my followers won't be interested in this post but it was more for me then anyone else.

Until next time...

Senses = Driven wild.

2010-03-17T13:29:00.001-07:00

For some reason, yesterday morning I woke up thinking about playing bulldog (or British bulldog, whatever you wish to call it) at primary school. It's probably the most fun game ever created and I know all of you used to play it, so you can all just nod in agreement.

My observation about bulldog was that nobody ever wins that game. Ever. The best you can hope for is being the last loser. Say you are the last one left, you're pretty much screwed because every one's out to get you and only you. But nobody celebrates you as the winner and when you get caught that's that, next game. Never really thought about it before but you can only lose in bulldog but playing it in primary school all day is the most fun memory I have.

Last time I played it was actually last year on a beach at midnight. That was amazing fun although running in sand is difficult but it makes falling over less painful. Once again no winners, just sandy jumpers and a pair of buried shoes. That was a great week. Probably the best birthday I will ever have as well.

We were on the beach all night, then counting down the minutes till I turned 18. Then my number 1 fan, the infamous P, Ron Burgandy?, Captain Imaginative and many others rugby tackled me to the ground. What a way to show affection, with a nice face full of sand and a pile of friends crushing me. Love you guys really. The rest of the day was spent singing my own improvised version of Drive-Thru by Weird Al Yankovic in the car and ending the day with an insane amount of alcohol, partying with the Great Boberic. No birthday will ever beat it.

What else to say?

I forget how much I love the X-Files, I really do. Although I wasn't impressed by the 2 episodes I watched today. They were just being too obvious with the aliens. First series was all 'Is there alien life?' Series 2 is more 'Yup, Sure looks that way'. I know from my parents that the show is meant to get worse as it goes on but I'm still going to stick with it. Love you Scully. Actually I probably love Mulder more. Ahhh David Duchovny....

NO. Not gay.

Thought I should probably do a happier post after the last one. I know how influential I am, wouldn't want a mass suicide on my hands, I would much rather have a mass game of bulldog.

Actually that would be fucking amazing, fuck teaching the world to sing. Get everyone together in a massive international game of bulldog. Honesty rules apply, no cheating. I think that could solve all the world problem. The queen would no doubt be the last person standing, nobody would be brave enough to approach her.

Queen: 'Come and get me Phillip!'

Phillip: 'One can't!'

Queen: 'Queenie's too fast for you!'

10 points to me if you read that in their voices. That's a fun game actually. One that never fails is:

Good News Everyone!

Everyone reads that in Professor Farnsworth's voice. I got my #1 Fan with that today using 'That's true enough.' Although me and him are the only people who will get that. Talking of Futurama though, you hear they're bringing it back for another series? That show just will not die, it's not a bad thing but just keep it alive or end if I say. If you keep going too long it's just going to turn into The Simpsons, that show is just crap these days. They've turned it into Family guy which I also hate. Maybe I'm out growing animated shows. Although Snu-Snu from Futurama always makes me laugh.

One thing I hate about Futurama though is that damn Hypno-toad. I mean what the hell is th- ALL HAIL THE HYPNOTOAD.

Fuck this and fuck that too.

2010-03-16T08:21:00.000-07:00

I like to tell myself I believe in taking chances. You only live once so don't waste time, Carpe Diem and all that. But if I'm honest with myself, I know that only applies when there's no risk involved. As I write this, I'm letting another girl slip by because I'm too scared to see if she likes me.

The thing is, because I'm such a fucked up person, when it comes to asking somebody out, I see both outcomes as a negative.

1. She could say no, leaving me embarrassed, alone and with low(er) self-esteem.

Or

2. She could say yes! She could like me and want to be with me. Which leaves me with a girlfriend aka a situation I have no idea how to handle.

This is why I stay single most the time, if I'm not being rejected I'm leaving the girl in question alone. It's not that I mind being single, I kind of like it. But growing up with few girlfriends and lots of movies, relationships become something different in your head to what they actually are. Television puts so much more romance into real life then you care to think about. As reality stands, it's all one night stands and internet dating. Not chance meetings, love at first sight and all that crap. Yes, I am indeed leading straight to the point that romance is dead. Nobody cares anymore, most people, especially my generation, just want to fuck. What's scarier is that the younger generations just want to fuck.

My first girlfriend, god hopes she doesn't read this. Lost her virginity when she was 11. Eleven! What the fuck is that! Also, in year 9 she told me she was pregnant (she wasn't) and in year 10 she was engaged. The world is a fucked up place. So many of my old school friends have babies now and I wouldn't have a problem with that if they were intentional. If you WANT to have a baby at 16, for whatever reason, then that's fine. I have no problem with that. But if you or your stupid dickhead of a boyfriend doesn't want to use protection then your idiotic sorry ass deserves to stay in Tesco's for the rest of your fucking life. Enjoy your child benefits.

I'm sick of the way the world is. It wasn't meant to be this way. If ever a crazed scientist wants to blow up the earth because humanities 'gone too far' or whatever they say in the movies, now is the time.

All of this reinforces my wish to have been born in the 60's. Not just because of the music. but because I imagine people weren't so separated back then. If you wanted to talk, you met up, no msn, no texting. And here I am, part of the problem. I'm expressing myself through a blog.

I know I've been emo in this post, but I've just had enough. I really have.

Ups and Downs.

2010-03-13T10:54:00.000-08:00

It's ups and downs, you know it's ups and downs, it's just ups and downs. As said by the wise and very high Daisy from Spaced.

Not sure why I did that, it's just in my mind. Been re-watching Spaced. Forgot how FUCKING amazing it is. It's just so amazingly quotable AND funny every time you watch it. It's probably 3rd most quoted show for me. Trailing behind Alan Partridge at number 2 and Peep Show at number 1. 'Toni's rummaging, I'm watching her rummage.' Seriously though, If you haven't watched Spaced, do so immediately. It's one of those shows that make you proud to be English, if you get my meaning. Like when I think of Rowan Atkinson or John Cleese or Michael Palin, I get all patriotic because they are English and so am I, therefore making me even more superior to Americans. I probably didn't explain that very well but I can't be bothered to make more effort. I'm tired.

Next up, Free stuff is awesome. Gameplay.co.uk messed up my order of AvP for 360 (they sent me a PS3 copy). So to apologize they sent me some free stuff, as well as giving me my correct version of the game. One thing I did miss while in the excitement of receiving my freebies was the giddyness of opening the package. My mum had to do it while I watched in anticipation holding my nose to stop the gushing of blood. Said package contained some rather childish and boring items, including a Prototype action figure, Darksiders comic and Tekken 5 character cards. One averagely awesome item, Avatar for PS3 and one epically cool Bioshock 2 t-shirt. Yeah, it was a nice way to end the shitty day I've had.
Work was fucking unbearable. Spent all fucking day cramped in the cupboard/kitchen peeling off price labels with my bitten fingernails and then re-pricing them. Eventually I was so desperate for some sort of conversation with another human being, that I actually forced my knowledge of the shop on unsuspecting customers. You know, just for the company. Even then 'Do you need any help Sir?' only goes so far.
Morale was low, I needed a pickup. My boss comes to me with an envelope. 'What's in it?' I ask. 'Just open it.' she replies.

I do so.

Thank you for your continued hard work (heh heh heh) and commitment to Not My Real Job OMG.
My hourly rate was increased to £*.**.

Me again, Now my pay is shit and I don't care to share the exact amount. But let's just say an increase of 15p was not fucking worth the so called 'hard work'. I've been there for nearly a year and a half! I'm not an ungrateful person. I know how fortunate I am but 15p is not worth it. That's about an extra £4-6 a month, depending how many days I work. My job just isn't worth it.

In other news, I was telling the 'infamous P' about an episode of the Ricky Gervais show. In this episode they discuss a hypothetical situation where If you could get into a pod that enters you into a dream-like life. There is no way of telling the difference between the dream life and real life, you get to program what happens in your dream life and once you're in there you forget everything about your real life. Anyway, the question posed to Karl is, If this was offered to you, Would you do it?

Eventually he answers no. But me and the 'infamous P' had the same discussion. Before we went into the would you do it part of the conversation, we discussed our perfect lives. The 'infamous P's perfect life was fairly simple and quickly conceived. The essential part of his life was having an open relationship with Hayley Williams. We didn't go too far into it but the highlight of my perfect life was being married to Davina McCall. We also decided that we aged to 21 then stopped.

If you didn't know already, I do love Davina McCall. Just to clarify my reasoning. She is my perfect woman until last night. When I thought of a contender. No, not Zooey Deschanel, as lovely as she is. Actually it's Audrey Tatou, she's just adorable AND sexy. You don't find that often. Also she's only 5 ft 3, which is just hilarious. I don't know why. Oddly enough the film I was watching that convinced me she could also be my perfect pod life wife, was also the film that made me utterly scared of her. It was called He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not.

The film followed Angelique (Tatou) as she has an affair with a married man and tries to break up their marriage. But the film then twists to show that their meeting wasn't so out of the blue and she was actually stalking him. It was a lot better then I was expecting and Audrey Tatou scared the shit out of me, she just looked so devious. The only other time an actresses performance has scared me out of finding them attractive was Cameron Diaz in Vanilla Sky, she was freaky as shit.

Finally, I have decided on the next 2 songs to learn on my drums. Cherub Rock by The Smashing Pumpkins, who I am starting to love more and more every day and Go With The Flow by Queens Of The Stone Age.

That's all for now.

Nose Explosions.

2010-03-06T07:24:00.000-08:00

Well, For the past 3 or 4 days I've been on and off ill/grumpy/tired and it has not been fun.

Got myself out of bed this morning after an early night, at 10 O' clock for work. The roughness was still there, lingering in my head, but the lack of money in my bank persuaded me to drag my lifeless corpse down town. Now, I don't know where you stand on seeing signs and stuff like that. But as I was just about to leave the door, my nose exploded. And by exploded I mean a nose bleed. If that's not a sign that I shouldn't be working today, I don't know what is.
Going back to bed was a welcome change to my day, especially as now I feel pretty much fine and the plans to go out tonight are back on. (He types mid-coughing fit.) No, I'll be fine.

My life has had a dramatic turn recently, as in I think I know what I want to do with my life. Please don't laugh as you read this, considering the crap I write on here, but I want to be a writer of some sort. Yes, yes, this blog is full of shit but I can write or like to think I can anyway. It's strange how it never really occurred to me before, it's always been something I enjoy doing and some people say I'm good at it. As for what I wish to write I don't know, any type of media journalism would be amazing or I could even finish that screenplay. Maybe one of the several book idea's I have flowing round my head could materialize as something concrete. Who knows. I just know I don't want to be in retail when I'm 30.

The time has come to start looking at courses and my lack of relevant qualifications is bound to trip me up. Everyone has to start somewhere, it's never to late to start pursuing what you want. OK, maybe this is an overreaction as I'm only 18 but I still feel like I've wasted time.

Finally, I made the best playlist ever. 48 songs of pure awesomeness.

I'll leave you with this, may it help you in your future endeavours.

24...Damn you!

2010-03-04T13:58:00.000-08:00

Why must they toy with my emotions? I had just learnt to trust again... I was just picking up the pieces of the last time my loyalty was betrayed. They couldn't let me get myself together could they?

Why must these things happen...

You think you know someone and then THIS happens.

Innocent people could die because of YOU and what YOU'RE doing, just THINK for one second. You can still change this. I'm writing this in the hope that by the time I press play for the next episode, you will have read this. Then you can put it right and restore my faith in you.

I was there for you when your other half passed away, I was there while you 'died' and I was still here for you when you came back. DO THIS FOR ME DAMN IT.

Or...

I'll cry... I promise. I will! Don't think I won't.

That is all.

P.S. Also, this may be the only way you can talk about 24 without actually spoiling anything. By looking like a emotional wreck. Ah well, Like I care.

UPDATE:

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT. (As said in the voice at 1:15 of this video)

Jónsi

2010-02-25T14:15:00.000-08:00

Guess whose going to see Jónsi in May. =D =D

It's not a bad film!

2010-02-24T09:23:00.000-08:00

So recently I've fallen in love with the work of Jean Pierre Jeunet. He directed A Very Long Engagement, Delicatessen, Amelie and finally Alien Resurrection. Yes, You read that correctly. I did not realise the director of many of my favourite films is also the director behind the piece of garbage known as Alien Resurrection.

But wait! Didn't the title of the post say it's NOT a bad film?

Well observed plucky reader. I am here to defend this poorly underrated film.

It really isn't a bad film. I watched it again last night, first time in years. I think I just hated it because it was the Alien film I watched the least and therefore forgot most of it, decided it was shit because I never watched it and it all spiralled out of control.

But going back to it. I can appreciate it a bit better. Mainly because I am now more familiar with Joss Whedon's work, who wrote Alien Resurrection and as previously mentioned Jean Pierre Jeunet's work. Knowing their styles has greatly changed the way I see the movie. Ok, It's no Alien or Aliens but it holds its own. Just because it's easily the worst in the series doesn't make it bad.

It had two of the most classic and most loved horror films of all time to compete with, attached to two amazing directors, Ridley Scott of Blade Runner (my all time favourite sci-fi), Gladiator, Black Hawk Down, Thelma and Louise, Matchstick Men. The list goes on. And secondly James Cameron, holder of the top two slots of highest grossing films of all time, Avatar and Titanic, as well as creating The Terminator series.

The third film by David Fincher and my personal favourite, got mixed reactions. Seeing as it was so much darker and grittier but this just backs up the point I'm about to make. Each director had to shake things up a bit. It started off as a thriller, James Cameron turned it to an all out action romp and David Fincher basically emo'd the fuck out of it. Then it was turned to Jean Pierre Jeunet and Joss Whedon to complete the saga, neither of them well known for doing horror films but instead known for their unusual styles. No wonder Resurrection was so different.

ALSO, Look what they had to work with! 'So where did Alien 3 leave us? Oh, Yeah main characters dead and the alien species is wiped out.'

Considering they had to reincarnate the main character AND the main point of making the film, the aliens, I think they did a pretty good job. It could have been a lot worse. Uwe Boll springs to mind, I mean that guy has a petition going against him to stop him making films. I have signed. You should too.

http://www.petitiononline.com/RRH53888/petition.html

Anyway, I just feel that given what they had to work with and both working with something they hadn't done before, Joss and Jean Pierre did us proud. If you are one of those haters, watch the film again without prejudice and foregone conclusions, accept it for what it is, it's not a classic, it's not a master piece but it's still fucking enjoyable.

One last thing, one last unforgivable thing. What the FUCK is that alien hybrid thing at the end. That I cannot get over, it makes no sense. The aliens we see in the first 2 films are technically half-human anyway seeing as they came out of humans. The 3rd is half dog, hence it being smaller, faster and paler. Ok so the paler doesn't make sense. So where does this 'half-human alien' come from? I don't get it, also say that it is half human, why does it have a tiny little horn on its nose! Last time I checked humans certainly don't have horns. Rage over.

And that's all for now.

I don't know where this came from really, I just miss film studies I guess. Ah well, I enjoyed writing it. HEED MY ADVICE.

"Here be beauty, There be pie charts"

2010-02-21T12:37:00.000-08:00

The more I listen to This Is War by 30 Seconds To Mars the more I think I might skip seeing Rage Against the Machine in favour of them.

That's right kids, Yet again my two favourite bands at Download Festival are clashing. Which is a FUCKING SHAME. On one hand I have the amazing 30 Seconds to Mars whose new album has kept me entertained for several months now. On the other hand, is one of the greatest live bands of all time. Rage Against the Machine. Chances are, this will be my only opportunity to see them, 30 Seconds are still a fresh band so they will most likely return to England.It's a toughy, Jared Leto's sexy face or Zack De La Rocha's angry face. No man should face* this dilemma.

*Heh heh heh

Onto other news, I finally finished reading God Hates Us All, the book that landed me with some strange looks from my mother. Fear not, It's not some bible-bashing propaganda but a spin-off book based on Hank Moody from the TV show Californication. It was most enjoyable, I half expected it to be a rushed piece of crap, like a movie tie-in game. But God Hates Us All would actually be an enjoyable book in it's own right, without the connection to the TV show, if only it were longer.

The main reason I started talking about that was to tell you what I'm reading now, which is Nick Hornbys latest writing endeavour. 'Juliet, Naked'.

If you don't know Nick Hornby, he wrote High Fidelity and About A Boy. I have seen and enjoyed both the films, even read the High Fidelity book which was vastly superior.

Buying 'Juliet, Naked' was far more difficult then it should have been. Me, NMRNOMG being a young male blogger doesn't have the... what's the word... balls to buy a book with a chick-flick looking cover and a title like 'Juliet, Naked'. Luckily, like Baldrick, I had a cunning plan. You see there was a buy one get one free offer at my local WHSmith. Using my stunning wits and winning personality, I managed to conceal my wishes to read this book by also purchasing 'The Road' with a distinctively manly and gritty cover. Therefore keeping my manlyness intact.

NMRNOMG: 1
Paranoid perceptions of what I think society will label me for buying a slightly feminine book: 0
See? I'm the real winner here. You can't deny it, you saw the proof. You don't believe me? You're in trouble now...

Evidence Mo' fucker.

Yes, I'm THAT sad. FML. At least it gave me an excuse to title this post after one of my favourite Peep Show quotes.

My favourite quote is actually in the same episode come to think about it.

"Four naan Jeremy? Four! That's insane."

I Seriously Have Magic Powers

2010-02-15T16:51:00.000-08:00

Like seriously...

All I've been doing during the lead up to tonights Download Festival announcement is saying how much I want these bands to be there.

Rage Against the Machine
30 Seconds to Mars
Finch
The Dead Weather

Tonights announcement read:

30 Seconds to Mars, Rage Against the Machine, Billy Idol, Stone Sour and Five Finger Death Punch.

This is actually my Download Festival. If I get Finch and The Dead Weather I want you all to call me Mage/Wizard NMRNOMG

Best Gif Ever

2010-02-14T09:28:00.000-08:00

That is all.

Top 5 Bands

2010-02-12T14:13:00.000-08:00

Felt like making a list of my current favourite bands.

(In no particular order)

1. 30 Seconds to Mars
2. The Dead Weather
3. Finch
4. The White Stripes
5. The Raconteurs

Yes I know... Jack White FUCKING rules.

New blog!

2010-02-09T10:25:00.000-08:00

I have just created another blog called 'This Monkey's Gone Ape Shit!' with my cousin The Great Boberic. Please take a look, it hasn't got much on there for now but more will come.

http://thismonkeysgoneapeshit.blogspot.com/

Thanks

Byee

P.S. It's called that because that's my favourite pun... YES it was relevant at the time!

Will there be enough water?

2010-02-05T11:51:00.000-08:00

I kind of miss this, I'm thinking of making a triumphant/slightly embarrassing return, depending on how you look at it. Even though at the time of me stopping I had actually gotten completely bored of it, the more I read other peoples blogs the more I want to join in again. Let's give this a whirl...

Started the morning, I say morning when I mean 1 o clock, with a new movie. It was called The Diving Bell and Butterfly, I got it on my rental on the recommendation of a friend and upon receiving it through my rental, had completely forgotten what it was.

There was an advert for Juno on the disc so I figured it must be a kind of light hearted indie film, that'll be a nice start to the day. Boy, was I wrong. I should pay more attention to what I rent. It's a film about Jean-Dominique Bauby, who was he editor or Elle magazine or something. He had a stroke when he was 43 and woke up 2 weeks later completely paralyzed apart from his left eyelid. It's based on his actual memoirs of this event, which he wrote by blinking at the correct letter while somebody read out a specialized version of the alphabet. By specialized, I mean it was rearranged to start with the most commonly used letters and ended with the least.

I did really enjoy the film, as sad as it was. But it just made me look at the world differently, that happened to him with no warning and no reason really. I've recently been trying to turn my life around in a health sense anyway and this has spurred me on. I'm actually getting my 5 fruit a day now, which is new. As soon as the exercise machine gets moved back into the house I'll be on that and I'm going to start walking again. Especially now my hours have been cut at work, I don't wish to be sat around all day everyday. So, hooray for me.

The big buzz for me at the moment is Download Fest 2010. Bought my ticket on the day they came out and have been hyped ever since. Great lineup so far and I'm sure it will only get better. I'm hoping that Rage Against the Machine will headline, that would be amazing. Some others on my wish list are Finch, 30 Seconds to Mars, Soundgarden and by a very very very long shot The Dead Weather.

The Dead Weather are my current favourite band. Fronted my Alison Mosshart of The Kills, Jack White of White Stripes on drums and occasional guitar/vocals. Dean Fertita of Queens of the Stone Age and Jack Lawrence of The Raconteurs. They have created the best supergroup ever. Their music is kind of bluesy but classed as alt rock and they are just brilliant. I did have trouble getting into them but once I had the album in it's entirety I just fell in love.

Anyway enough from me, I'll see if I feel like keeping this up in the future.

Byee

Fuck it.

2009-12-20T16:15:00.000-08:00

Fuck it, I'm going to stop blogging. I have grown tired of it.

Byee (Forever)

You Don't Know What Love Is (You Just Do As You're Told) David Duchovny, Why Won't You Love Me

2009-12-16T07:23:00.001-08:00

I want this song played at every historic occasion in my life. Every birthday, wedding, anniversary, funeral, whatever. I want it to be the theme tune of my life.

White Stripes rule.

EDIT: I want THIS song to be the theme to my life.

The Title Usually Goes Here Somewhere

2009-12-14T12:27:00.000-08:00

I was literally just about to start this blog post when fate decided that I wasn't going to blog. In fact I was going to fumble around my sodding room in the pitch black to find a sodding light source to go downstairs and light some candles and wait for the 2nd sodding power cut to finish. Yes, that's right kids. It's power cut season. We had one on Saturday for about an hour, moments before the 'Family Fun Weekend' was about to commence. Those were some tense times, I can tell you.

The 'Family Fun Weekend' was actually quite a laugh. As you may have guessed from 2 posts down I was completely 'mashed' as my cousin would say. We had 3 bottles of Mickey Finns, 1 bottle of vodka and all the beer that was stuffed into my fridge. I honestly don't remember all of the night. I do remember telling my cousins girlfriend 'L' that we were in fact dead and this was heaven and she believed me. She then continued to cry for about 5 minutes while I rolled about on the floor in the middle of the road laughing and gasping for air. My cousin 'S' ran along a bank, slipped and cut his arm open quite badly and proceeded to laugh at the blood pouring out. We all rolled down a very steep hill a couple of times, which I think is why when I woke up the next morning, the reason that I couldn't turn my head without turning my whole body. Still can't actually, that made work today EXTRA fun. Try replacing the usual boredom of work with constant excruciating pain all the way down your spine, then bring back the boredom and that sums up my day.

Working in the morning wasn't too bad. I nicked a couple of my mums uber strong prescribed ibuprofen which she has because she had an operation. I probably didn't need something that strong but god did it make me feel better. As soon as they started to wear out, I was in agony.

What else to say... Ah yes, I think Christmas might be happening some time soon, it usually does. So that'll be nice. I know for a fact my PS3 is in the house somewhere as my mum actually told me for some reason. It is rather frustrating. I'm started to get excited for Christmas now, mainly because I asked for 30 Seconds to Mars's new album and I really can't wait to hear it. But seeing as I asked for it, I can't buy it now and therefore have to wait. Annoying.

Yeah so anyway, If I don't blog again before Christmas (I'm not in a bloggy mood this month.) Then have a good Christmas to everyone who reads this.

Byee

-_-

2009-12-13T09:38:00.000-08:00

There's only so many ways I can say woops. This is one of them.

Woops.

Yes Please

2009-12-12T18:08:00.000-08:00

This post was removed because it was deemed too hazardous to the readers.

The Present

2009-12-08T08:35:00.000-08:00

Found a new solo song from Thom Yorke today, thought I'd share.

Also another amazing performance of True Love Waits:

Thom Yorke is amazing. Are Radiohead actually still together? Rumors of a break up then rumors of a new album but it's been silent for a while. Lets hope there's more Radiohead to come.

Byee

Well slap my face...

2009-12-07T10:49:00.000-08:00

Guess whose working on Christmas Eve! (Not Santa you silly billy.) It's me. What a kick to the groin. This will be the first time I have worked on Christmas Eve and I'm sure to hate every second of it. It's not that Christmas Eve is a particularly special day in our household, we don't do anything any different apart from have a nice meal or something but still... I would rather not be working on it.

RAGERAGERAGERAGE

Plus I'll be sharing my Christmas Eve with my colleague 'N' who is insanely annoying. Hip hip hooray for me.

Oh well, life goes on.

It is now official that I will be losing my Xbox 360 fanboy status come Christmas Day, as I am purchasing a Playstation 3. I'm sorry Micro$oft but I'm not a one console man.

Today's Checklist:
Reached new lows of nerdyness. Check

Excellent.

Do I have anything else to say? Probably but nothing springs to mind right now, which is why I shall leave this open until something crops up.

*time passes*

Nah, fuck it. Just buy Killing in the Name by Rage Against The Machine on 13th Dec to get it as Christmas number 1. There's a group on facebook somewhere. Just do it.

BYEE

I'll cancel YOU in a minute.

2009-12-03T08:36:00.000-08:00

Have just found out the Californication has been renewed for a fourth series after hearing that it was cancelled. Maybe the US are trying something new here, like keeping their good TV shows going for longer then 1 series. We'll see where it takes them shall we? It's risky, I know but let us hope it pays off.

Seriously though, sarcasm aside. What is it with the US and cancelling anything truly amazing on TV. Firefly is the only example I need to make, that show is literally the best thing ever, if I had a list of everything that I have claimed to be the best thing ever, Firefly would top that list. I recently finished watching it in it's entirety again followed by Serenity. I actually think it gets better each time I watch it. I honestly don't understand what Fox were thinking, firstly they air the second episode first because the first episode was too long and drawn out then they cancel it after one series. They could have made so much more money from that show. That's all that is important to them anyway. Bastards.

Next up is Defying Gravity, recently aired over in the UK, with the wonderful Ron Livingston starring as the main character. Once again short lived by the US TV companies. Cancelled after 1 series, in a way though this is slightly worse then Firefly. Defying Gravity was about 1 central story that was to be completed over 3 years, instead we get a taste of the story and then shunted out onto our arses to wonder what the hell would have happened. What makes me more angry is that shows like Lost get 200 seasons planned and that show is pure garbage. It just strings people along by giving you all these cliffhangers and instead of giving you a good answer to them, they just present you with another cliffhanger. I watched the first season on DVD and by the end, when they discover the vault, I just couldn't care less. I just thought, who gives a fuck? By the time they reveal what's in there, there will be a billion more sub-plots going on and by the end of the show whatever was contained in that vault will most likely by obsolete anyway. Terrible, terrible show.

My last example is Police Squad!, which was out in the 80's. A slapstick type cop parody show, that is god damn hilarious. The main character was played by the hilarious Leslie Nielsen so you know it's good. The show got cancelled after 4 episodes of it had aired because apparently the viewer needed to pay more attention to the show then they would want to in order to keep up with the fast paced humor. Or something to that degree. TV companies must think we are half-wits. They cancel all the shows with substance that us nerdier folk love but keep churning out endless episodes of Scrubs, Lost and Sex and the City (although Nathan Fillion was in a couple episodes I believe which gives it some credibility).

Rage over now.

Oh wait, one more show. Farscape got cancelled after the fourth series because it was too expensive, which is a better reason then any other I have shown you in this post and Farscape still managed to wrap it's story up with the mini series thing it did. But still, they need to pay.

Goodbye everything you thought about me.

2009-12-01T13:46:00.000-08:00

Post 60 and it's time to completely change your view of what I'm like.

I can't stop listening to this song. Nuff said.

Rap is actually quite enjoyable sometimes. I bet not many rap fans would use the phrase 'quite enjoyable' that often. That makes me special. I don't mean anything by that, my cousin enjoys the rap and he would say something like that. But all you others *scowl*, you can keep your stupid slang. No this song isn't 'phat', 'sick' or 'bad'. It is good, enjoyable and awesome. Deal with my proper use of the English language. Yes, there is probably a mistake somewhere in this paragraph and I look forward to one of you pointing it out and bursting my bubble.

I finally listened to the couple of Paramore songs that 'the infamous P' sent me. He told me I would like them because they weren't like the normal Paramore and that the new albums was more emo. I listened to them with an open mind. But they all sounded just like every other song Paramore have released. They can't help but regurgitate the same song over and over, it's just their thing. Don't get me wrong, I used to like that one song but there's only so much I can take. Sorry Paramore.

One last thing. Only one TV show has ever made me cry and that was 24. Can't remember which season, 3 or 4 I think. It was the bit when *spoilers* Tony has to say goodbye to Michelle because she's been trapped in the building where a virus has been released. *Spoilers end* It was very sad, I was very attached to Michelle, probably a bit too much thinking about it. NO, I loved her and that's that. ANYWAY 24 is awesome, Yes I have watched all seasons apart from 7 and the most episodes I watched in a row was 8. The point I've been leading to is this. Another show had me shed a tear. Well very nearly, that show is Californication. I've become obsessed with it lately and the whole on off relationship between Hank and Karen. It's all very sad. So yeah, I'm a wuss but I'm alright with it. If I want Hank and Karen and Michelle and Tony to be together forever then I'll chase that dream. Also Fry and Leela, the most important TV relationship to ever exist.
I'm a sap for romance when it comes down to it. It's a shame romance is dead.

Byee

General Update of my Life #432

2009-11-30T12:44:00.000-08:00

All that work I've been doing for the past month has paid off, quite literally. A lovely pay cheque came my way last Friday of over double what I usually earn. I was rather pleased. But if you know me at all, which most of you do, seeing as you are here now, you will know I am no good at saving. £90 spent in one night.

OK, OK, It was mostly on Christmas presents so I had a good reason. But I did also buy Assassins Creed 2 for my lovely xbox 360. Also due to my pay, my 360 will soon be receiving a sibling, as in a Playstation 3. Do I feel slightly selfish owning 2 consoles? No, not especially. If I can afford it why not? Plus I would like to work in the gaming industry so it is kind of vital to keep up with both the main consoles.

Spending Christmas at home this year for the first time in 2 years. Been at my dad's house but the big family Christmas's we have over there always end in arguments. Last year nobody was talking to each other and my Grandad ended up going to bed about 1 o clock. Bless him. Good times. So this year I will be staying home for a quite Christmas spent on my PS3.

Other news, I'm having withdrawal symptoms from my drums. My mum is recovering from an operation which leaves me in a no noise zone. Therefore drums are off the agenda. Frustration did ensue, just as I had started to learn Time is Running Out by Muse. I have this till next Tuesday, then the house will once again be mine and the noise will return.

In two weeks time our annual Christmas family get together will commence. I call it the Family Fun Weekend (with much sarcasm injected). This year we are hosting as well, so I can't even make up some excuse not to go, unless I sleep on the streets. Oh well, it won't be that bad. My cousin and his girlfriend are coming down and they are two of my closest friends, we'll have a laugh. We'll also have a supply of alcohol so it's likely I won't care how tedious this thing will be.

Byee

P.S. This is my first Christmas with no advent calender. I'm all growed up!

I'm Always Watching

2009-11-21T15:48:00.000-08:00

First things first. You probably won't believe me, I'm not sure I believe me but I'm fairly certain this happened. I slept with my eyes open.

I remember looking around the room while not being fully awake and still imagining the same dream I was having while my eyes were shut. I also remember turning over but not thinking about turning over like I was just watching but had no input into what was going on. So I have come to the conclusion that I was asleep while my eyes were open. I don't think it was a dream, it was too vivid. And I know I wasn't awake because I just know. But yeah...That's some crazy shit.

Next item on my agenda is how much Twilight sickens me. I went to the cinema today to see 2012 (my mum was paying, I'm not one to turn down a free film, even if I'm not overly keen to see it). The queue for Twilight: Dickface's Revenge was ridiculous. I reckon if a bomb went off in that cinema the whole of the female population between the ages of 12 and 15 would be wiped out, in the area in which I live anyway. Also a large percentage of idiotic older girls and guys.

Twilight is just pure garbage it really is, it's shit that tries to make itself looks grown up by making the characters a little moody. So all the fucking morons who watch/sit through/read it think they are mature. It's complete rubbish, I genuinely believe it's a con. I think it's purposefully written that way, to look mature so the pre-pubescent wankers think they are grown up and hump it like it's Edward Cullen. Oh, and that's another thing, he's a smug twat as well isn't he?

Enough NMRNOMG. Enough.

Onto 2012, which was OK... Couple of things made me laugh though.

1. Somebody stared into a computer screen looking worried and muttered 'My God...' within the first 10 minutes. That's the disaster movie criteria ticked off already.

2.They assume the audience knows what a 'neutrino' is because the first 20 minutes of the movie is people saying that the neutrino's are heating up. I'm not a scientific guy but I don't think I was the only one who wasn't thinking. 'SHIT! Not the neutrinos!' To me neutrinos sound like something you would find in a cereal.

Shredded Wheat is full of neutrinos, the corner stone of any nutritious breakfast.

3. John Cusack makes any film good.

4. Thandie Newton is hot.

5. Throughout the whole film England was never shown apart from a small waste of an easter egg with the queen. But I like to think that if they had shown England it would have been something like this:

Two stereotypical english gentleman are drinking tea and reading the newspaper. A slight earthquake spills one of their cups of tea.

Stereotypical Englishman with monocle says: "Blast"

Stereotypical Englishman with top hat removes his pipe from his mouth an utters: "Indeed"

Then they go back to their papers.

Anyway, before I go one more thing. This guy sat in front of me in the cinema was talking pretty loudly during the trailers so I couldn't help but overhear. A clip from Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer came on and he said:

"That was Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. Brilliant film."

Then NMRNOMG pulled out his sawn-off shotgun and blew him away. OK so that didn't happen but I can pretend. What was he thinking. Moron

Well, I should confess one thing. He was only about 12, he looked younger but the film was a 12 so I'm guessing. So maybe I'm being a bit harsh. Hell, at least he wasn't watching Twilight.

Byee

10 Years Already....

2009-11-20T06:26:00.000-08:00

Can you believe that? It's been 10 years since Fight Club was released. I was eight! Obviously I was oblivious to it's release back then but after I discovered the film it never left my top 10 films. Although...What is my actual top 10?

Let's do this (in no particular order):

1. Fight Club
2. Office Space
3. Sunshine
4. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
5. Moon
6. Clerks
7. American Beauty
8. Blade Runner
9. In Bruges
10. Lost in Translation

That list took longer then you think. It's good to have it down, it's official now, until I see something else I love and change it.

Yesterday I was listening to 'The Greatest Man That Ever Lived' by Weezer, when the thought hit me...Who are they talking about?

Well, isn't it obvious? There is only one greatest man that ever lived and for the sake of an interesting blog post instead of a religious rant, I will not be talking about Jesus, I think he goes without saying really. I am a christian by the way, don't get the wrong impression, it's just I don't think many of you would want to read it if I said it was Jesus.

BIG FAT ANYWAY.... No, the real person I think the song was written for is of course Nathan Fillion and need I say more after I post this picture?

I don't really need to say more but I will, this is a blog after all. There is nothing Nathan Fillion can't do. Yes, I am well aware that he was in Sex and the City but because he was in it, that show became awesome for those few episodes. Hey... Zac Effron was in an episode of Firefly, we all have hidden depths. Zac Effron is still a douchebag though.

Nathan Fillion is just the best actor/singer/person/higher being ever. I love him more then anyone should. From Captain Malcolm Reynolds to Richard Castle to Captain Hammer, I love everything he has done. Plus he's a nerd! He is certifiable proof that nerds can be cool, I'm not saying I'm cool but I'm saying I have a chance. Slim to none that chance may be but a chance nonetheless. Nathan Fillion is a gamer, Proof: He voiced a Buck in Halo: ODST (which made that game awesome even if it is Halo). He reads (or at least used to) comics as proven in the intro to the Firefly comic he wrote, the intro not the comic. Obviously he is a sci-fi nerd because well.. he just is.

Nathan Fillion RULES. I think I've got my point across, not the point I started off with but I think you all know where I stand on the topic of Nathan Fillion. I'm sure Weezer felt the same way, hence the song.

OMG, My ultimate dream just emerged from the depths of my mind. A live performance of The Greatest Man That Ever Lived by Weezer feat. Nathan Fillion. That would be the biggest nerdgasm ever.

Did I have anything else to say? Do not think so. Just enjoy this song you might recognise from Yes Man.

Byee

P.S. For those of you who read my screenplay, I have started to re-write it as a short story thing, so maybe it will actually get finished.

You know what made my day today?

2009-11-17T10:27:00.000-08:00

I was sitting by the river with 'the infamous P' (Yes that is now his official name). We were idly chatting about random crap when this duck swims past and stops in front of us. We thought nothing of it. Then it did the single best thing ever, Yes I say that a lot but this is brilliant.

This duck started scratching his ear(?)with his foot, just like a dog. I have never seen a duck do that before. You may have but I have not and it was brilliant.

Also this, which is surprisingly good. Nowhere near the original I just want to say before the accusations start.

Please God... No!

2009-11-15T09:36:00.000-08:00

At this current moment in time. It seems I have grown bored of Modern Warfare 2. That's right, I, NMRNOMG, have gotten bored of the biggest game release ever in a mere 4 days after its release. I did receive said game 1 day early thanks to gameplay.co.uk so that really makes it 5 days. Not that that extra day makes it okay. Today would have been my 3rd day of not playing it in a row if I hadn't just sat down to give it a go. I played single player to get a couple of easy achievements then headed over to the wonder that is online multiplayer. I gave up before getting into a game, that's how little I can be bothered to actually play it.

What is wrong with me?

I'm sure I'll change my mind. This could all be down to the fact that I only got up about 2 hours ago at the lovely time of 4 in the afternoon so I'm still a little disorientated. Before you ask, it wasn't by choice, I just didn't sleep last night...again. He says like he ever sleeps well.

But as I said, for the past 3 days I've hardly touched my xbox. I've either been working, playing my drums or having stupid conversations with the infamous 'P'. I get like this sometimes, I'll get back into my xbox soon. I'm going to be pissed when Assassins Creed 2 comes out and I have no money to buy it, same goes with Left 4 Dead 2. Next month it is. Oh well.

I have the Christmas dinner with my work tomorrow night. I know...Christmas dinner at the beginning of November, also it's curry. How festive. I'm still skeptical about whether saying 'Yeah, Sure I'll go' was actually a good idea. It'll be me, the few people I know who work in my shop and all the other people who are actually interested in kitchen equipment. (I work in a kitchen shop). Plus, no doubt, the youngest person there will be me. We can hope and pray the other Saturday staff are my age and are not boring. If all goes bad, I'll just stock up on free drinks and leave early. What a good impression that will make.

Also, to make things worse, most the people there will have met me when I was about 11 when my mother worked with them. So, the cliche 'Look how much you've grown!' will probably come into play. Hip hip hooray for me.

'Yes, I have grown...I'm 18 now, that's how things work'

The other concern I have about tomorrow, is the 'dress code', for lack of a better term (audience cheer at the sound of my catchphrase). I've been told my boss has bought a dress just for this occasion. Want to know my plan? Black jeans and whichever black t-shirt is closest. As long as I don't get scowled I don't really care, I'll sit there in my Metallica t-shirt if I like.

Why did I say yes? *deep sigh*

In other news, I slept on a magnet last night. I'm not sure why. But I woke up with something very cold on my side. Yes, it was a magnet. How it got there? Nobody knows. Are my organs now magnetic? Let's hope so. It may make a good film. Next time I have the chance I'll roll in a bath full of paper clips and see if they stick.

That's all for now.

Byee

P.S. I am renaming my blog. I have grown bored of piloting the Hatredcopter.

P.P.S I have a new mystery follower. At least I don't think I know them. Either way welcome...*checks username*.... Sandmonkey. Clearly. Best kind of monkey. I guess.

'I've got blisters on ma fingers!'

2009-11-14T13:42:00.000-08:00

Just finished an awesome 2 hours session on my drums. Totally rocked that shit up. Mainly Weezer as usual. Started learning Mind's Eye by Wolfmother today though. Obviously difficult..

Starts off easy, you think you can do it... Then it hits you that you are not in fact Myles Heskett and then you fail. Still fun either way. Have I mentioned how much I love Wolfmother?

My room is vibrating from the sheer force of my bass speaker blurting out sweet sweet Wolfmother tunes. Wonder when the neighbors will start to complain....

Pun Intended

2009-11-14T10:14:00.001-08:00

You know how much I love a good pun. Well today I was talking to my 'boss' E and this happened:

E: The star wars films were on the other night

Me: Yeah but wasn't it the new ones?

E: Yeah they aren't as good, they confuse me

Me: How can they confuse you?!

E: I don't know, theres all this stuff about the Sith now. Before it was just Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker.

Me: Darth Vader has always been a sith..

E: Well I didn't know

Me: You clearly aren't nerdy enough to appreciate the films.

E: Oh be quiet

Me: Pun Intended?, 'Obi' quiet?

As you may have guessed I was the only one who appreciated it and I also know how sad that makes me but I can't resist a good pun.

This guy was great.

2009-11-11T16:49:00.000-08:00

He was the most fun person to annoy ever. Thank you Omegle.

Stranger: hey bi-male?

You: hey, nope, bi-plane sorry :/

Stranger: ?

You: ü?

Stranger: bi

Stranger: ?

Stranger: u male?

You: u fo real?

Stranger: yeh....

You: hahaha

You: awesome

Stranger: u male?

You: u liek?

Stranger: lol

Stranger: if ur male

Stranger: :P

You: i heard some people are male

Stranger: llol

Stranger: u bi?

Stranger: then ;D

You: bi-plane?

You: I'm not a pilot

Stranger: ok..?

Stranger: lol

Stranger: u date guys?

You: rofl

Stranger: ?

You: ◄

Stranger: what ya laughin at

Stranger: wtf is that xD

You: lol yeah

Stranger: so u do ;D

You: do what?

Stranger: date guys?

You: whats that

Stranger: (-__-)

You: ↕

You: =D

Stranger: ur a guy rite?

Stranger: xD

You: is who a guy?

You: my dad is

You: i think

Stranger: ru

Stranger: :@

You: ru

You: ru ru ru

Stranger: yeh

You: roo

Stranger: r ya?

You: am i what?

Stranger: OMFG1

Stranger: :@@@@@@@@@@

Stranger: not funny

Stranger: !

You: i dont get it

Stranger: k

Stranger: do u like 2 suck dick?

Stranger: :P

You: is that a type of beef?

Stranger: yes ;)

You: im vegetarian :/

Stranger: lool

Stranger: its human beef

You: humans dont make beef

You: farmers do

Stranger: ugh

You: =D

You: you are silly

Stranger: its not funny

You: what isnt funny

You: the war?

You: i agree

Stranger: what ur doing

Stranger: !

You: its very serious

Stranger: grr

You: war = bad

You: dont be mad

Stranger: quit changing the subjject

Stranger: !

You: =D

Stranger: if ur male

You: you mentioned the war!

Stranger: like male

Stranger: i will suck u

Stranger: :D

You: i had some mail today

Stranger: and then we can switch

You: it was a dvd

Stranger: :@

Stranger: come on!

You: that kind of mail?

Stranger: MY DICK IS HARD

You: its not spelt male silly

Stranger: ru bi or not

Stranger: and male

Stranger: :@@@

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I just love this picture...

2009-11-10T12:40:00.000-08:00

WOLFMOTHER RULE

Re: Your Brains

2009-11-08T16:11:00.000-08:00

Byee

P.s. I am currently mourning the show Defying Gravity (the sci-fi drama not the 1997 gay drama), yet another amazing show canceled. Firefly syndrome...

Ron Livingston, A true legend. Go watch Office Space now.

Ágætis byrjun

2009-11-06T11:52:00.000-08:00

Jónsi

I was looking at some of the Sigur Ros translated lyrics today and came across the lyrics for the song Ágætis byrjun from the album of the same name. Ágætis byrjun means 'An Alright start' or 'A Good Beginning' depending where you look it up. It's probably 'A Good Beginning' but I prefer 'An Alright Start', sounds a lot more dramatic and romantic in a strange way. The lyrics really... touched me, I guess is the phrase. They truly are beautiful, I hope you read through them but most of you won't. I don't care. Your loss. Sigur Ros really are unique, no band's music can evoke so much emotion out of me, Sigur Ros are different.

Here's the lyrics:

Bright Hopes Come True
As We Walk Downtown
Smiling And Laughing
As Friendship And Exhaustion Collide
We Celebrate
A Two Year Wait
A Distant Dream Is Born
We Eat And Drink Ourselves Full
And Pay Up
With All We Have For The Day
We Sit Down Excited
Listen To Ourselves Play The Music
No One Seems To Listen
This Is Completely Different
We Lived In Another World
Where We Were Never Invisible
A Few Days Later
We Speak Again
But It Didn't Sound Good
We Were All In Agreement
In Agreement About Most Things
We’ll Do Better Next Time
This Is An Alright Start

I'm either going loopy or...

2009-11-04T15:42:00.000-08:00

No wait, that's the only option. Darn. Ah well fuck it. TROOPLE POSTAGE.

Lately, the loneliness has been getting to me. Not in a depressing way. Just that I have the house completely to myself most the time as I am doing absolutely nothing with my life. That's a worry for my secret blog me thinks.

Back to the story. Usually I'm not the kind of person to sing to themselves or express themselves at all come to think about it. The other day though when I first started making shit up on the drums to Weezer, something in my head clearly broke. For the past week I have been rocking out to myself, singing to my hearts content. I suck completely but I'm the only one here and I'm enjoying it. Also while playing my drums I have noticed my 'aura' (for lack of a better word(this is fastly becoming my catchphrase)) has changed from sheer concentration to headbanging, singing and generally rocking out.

You may all think I'm a sad lonely loser who really has lost the plot and if you know me REALLY well you know all too well I care way too much about what people really think of me but for this circumstance I don't.

Maybe I'm not going crazy, maybe I've just grown more passionate for music. Musics always been a big thing in my life since back when I was an indie kid right through the emo stages up to an all out heavy metal nut and now to a weird mixture of everything remotely rock. Lately music has really made me smile a lot more. It could just be that I'm at a low point in my life so I need the cheering up but some songs just make me smile so much when they really kick in.

Who knows. I just felt like sharing some of these thoughts with you and my good friend Ron Burgandy? is also troople posting and told me I should go for it also.

To finish this post off, I want to name some songs or bands that have really stood out to me lately:

Pixies
Davie Bowie
Jesus and Mary Chain
The Cure
Sigur Ros
Belle and Sebastian
Sonic Youth - Superstar
Radiohead
The Psychedelic Furs - Pretty In Pink
Weezer (obviously)
Jimi Hendrix
Wolfmother - Far Away
Muse - Undisclosed Desires

That'll do for now, most likely all of my zero readers just skipped that list anyway. I guess it was there for my benefit then for yours.

A beautiful song to fit a beautiful film.

Byee

=W=

Dooble post today - I'm too good to you

2009-11-04T08:23:00.000-08:00

I thought of a great way to give you a better incite into my life. I'm going to try and remember as many conversations between me and my best friend 'P', who most of you will know. Often I cannot remember how the conversations come along but just trust me that somehow these conversations DID happen. Today for example:

I have forgotten how it got to this point but this is the 'climax', for lack of a better word.

P: Puns to you are like sex to me

Me: Not really, I don't have orgasms over puns.

*silence*

Me: Unless it's a REALLY good pun.

Both: Laughter

Me: A good pun in the morning and a good pun before bed, thats the way to live.

P: I could so make an innuendo about that.

Me: Please don't.

It was something along those lines anyway, I did my best. Another that happened over the phone a couple days ago, once again I cannot remember the origins.

P: I'm going to steal a child bring it over to your house and scare it while wearing a clown outfit in front of you.

From then on we somehow developed it into a clown with ass-less clown trousers. I only phoned him to see how he was.

More on this as it happens.

Byee

=W=

=W=

2009-11-04T05:28:00.000-08:00

Call them 'sell-outs', call them 'a band clearly in their mid-life crisis'. Call them what you wish. But I for one will always be a fan and will never lose the love for such an awesome band. Weezer rule , end of. Yes OK, their lyrics have got a little worse and they are not the band they once were. I love both old and new Weezer. The new stuff is great for cheap rock and roll thrills whereas the older stuff means something to me and I have moods that suit all Weezer songs.

Hate them if you want. I just want to let the world know where I stand. I FUCKING LOVE WEEZER AND ALWAYS WILL.

<3 =W= <3

Hard Times = Loud Music

2009-11-02T08:22:00.001-08:00

My life has been made up of lots of ups and downs recently. Things are just fine right now and I'm happier for it. But it dawned on me today, that whenever I'm really down or depressed, I crank up my volume and shove on something really loud and semi-depressing. It helps, what can I say. The realisation is that even when I'm at my happiest my main urge is to crank up the volume but shove on something loud and happier. I've just had a major rock out session on my drums. I started off with stuff I knew Buddy Holly - Weezer, Back In Black - AC/DC, Blue Orchid - White Stripes (easiest song ever). Then I thought 'Fuck it, I want to play stuff I don't know'. So I did, I shoved on Weezer's Pinkerton album on shuffle and just made it all up. I played half the album right from my imagination and you know what? Most of it sounded good. I didn't stumble or pause to think, I just went with it and I loved it. I may not be Patrick Wilson or in fact even know him but I think I did him proud.

That's the thing with drums. Once you know the basics it's so easy to just go with the flow. Ok, I'm not going to play along to Neil Peart of Lars Ulrich any time soon but for now the simple stuff will do. You can't do that with guitar as easy. I'm not really in a position to say though, I can play Day Tripper - The Beatles (sort of) on guitar, other then that I'm hopeless. I did know how to play the Father Ted theme, such a shame its left my memory.

God, I love playing my drums.

Short post today.

Byee

=W=

P.S. Listening to New Born by Muse at full blast is FUCKING AWESOME

You would think...

2009-10-31T13:01:00.000-07:00

You WOULD fucking think...

You would fucking think that once you turn 18 YOUR life becomes YOURS officially. As in being able to make my own fucking decisions without being fucking judged by everyone. I'm fucking fed up of being treated like a fucking child all the fucking time.

I have Taskmaster telling me 'You're a dreamer, that's your problem*' *actual quote. I have my boss starting every sentence with 'Once you reach the real world...' WHAT FUCKING WORLD AM I FUCKING LIVING IN RIGHT SHITTING NOW?!?! Please someone tell me! Then I have my fucking parents, I say parents, my mum and my step dad... They harp on at me at anything I do. 'YOU GOING FUCKING CAMPING IN OCTOBER WHAT A SHIT-FUCKING TWAT IDEA IS THAT?! YOUR GOING TO FREEZE YOUR FUCKING SELF TO FUCKING DEATH!*' *Not actual quote.

I'm fucking sick of it. If I want to spend all my life tired because I go to be late and get up early then I fucking will and if I want to give myself hypothermia by sleeping in a tent in the middle of a lake then I fucking will. And I'm going to fucking love it.

I'm so fucking angry with life. So I apologise in advance if I'm a miserable fuck-face at the camping party thing tonight. I see it going one of two ways. Either I'm going to get shit-faced and embarrass myself or I'll spend all night as a loner being angry with my life and the world. There is a possible possibility of actually cheering the fucking fuck up and have a good time. But life is never that good. Now it's time to turn on my bass speaker, turn my main speakers way up and shove on some Jimi Hendrix. I can honestly say, the best thing in my life right now is when the house is empty so I can crank up the Jimi Hendrix.

So people...Here's today's lesson: Fuck off and leave me alone.

:D

=W=

Stay With Me Baby

2009-10-28T13:37:00.000-07:00

Hello All. This blog post has no real direction or plan (Like any of my posts do) - Hey who said that?!.....Little fucker...

A lot of people and by a lot I mean 2 or 3 have asked why I have been signing my posts with '=W='. The reason behind this is all thanks to the wondrous band Weezer. After learning Buddy Holly with my half-a-band. From there it went to the Blue Album, then forward to the Red Album then back once again to Pinkerton. They are just way too good. My tastes aren't particularly heavy at the moment so Weezer fit in just fine. I'm just chilling with some Jimi right now and I'm fucking loving it. The house is empty (to my knowledge) so my bass speaker is back on and my speakers turned to 11 (You better get that reference). Here lie Weezers logo:

Which is =W= in text format and if you so wish you can simply make the 'whatever' hand gesture but with two fingers upright for the Weezer hand logo, as seen in the Beverly Hills video. I'm glad I could help, I know you'll all appreciate that.

I've been working most of this week. Apart from Friday where I will be venturing off to London to attend Eurogamer Expo, HELL YES. Back to the story I hadn't started now. So at work today I had to answer a phone call. Now if you know me, you'll know my voice doesn't really include much emotion or enthusiasm. That's just the way I am. So I'm talking to this boring woman asking about ball bearings in a set of scales. I did my best to help her out and eventually we solved her dramatic dilemma. Then the outside consultant woman we have in occasionally comes up to me. To keep with the tradition, no real names will be posted here so her nickname (that I created) will be used instead. Anyway Taskmaster came up to me and starts hammering on about how I sound like I just don't care and how I give off the impression that this job is 'beneath' me. I was very pissed off. It sounds strange to say this due to the amount I bitch about my job but I actually kind of like working there. I wasn't particularly unpleasant to this woman I was helpful and friendly. It's just that my voice, as I said, doesn't carry much happiness across and it's not that i'm lonely or depressed, I'm perfectly happy. Well apart from when the Taskmaster is around.

The day balanced out in the end, having the house to myself was a nice bonus. I watched The Boat That Rocked when I had returned which was enjoyable, wasn't laugh out loud funny but I liked it. It has Bill Nighy in it and therefore it receives a 10/10 without hesitation.

This brings up a much debated subject. If you could choose somebody to narrate your life who would you choose? The most obvious answer, the answer that nearly anyone one you ask will say is Morgan Freeman. Now I love Morgan Freeman, he is indeed a legend and a fine choice for narrator for your life. But there are two much better options that are always forgotten. The first is clearly Bill Nighy, I would love to hear his upper class voice and his great pauses and stutters describing me write this blog. That would be fantastic. But one even BETTER choice, In fact THE best choice ever. Is the one....the only.... Mr. Christopher Walken. Christopher has the single most brilliant voice in the history of voices. 'It's just....it's just so crazy' as he would say. Ha ha ha, I laugh just thinking that in his voice. I wish I could do an impression of him. Although if that were the case, I doubt I would ever use my normal boring voice and I would get you all to call me Christopher.

OK...OK.... I wanted to share this video of the funniest and best Christopher Walken impression I know of but I honestly couldn't stop laughing when it came on, it is now paused and all is well. Here we go, it's on the 'Little Bit Special' album by Stephen Lynch although he doesn't do the impression, one of his friends does, it's brilliant...It's crazy:

One final video to finish off the post. This one is the reason behind the 'Stay With Me Baby' title. This one doesn't let me embed but here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-_BTx_lpkQ

Enjoy

Byee

=W=

You better leave a comment...

2009-10-23T13:05:00.000-07:00

I'm in desperate need of some new music. My music has grown old. I still love Radiohead and Weezer but nearly everything else in my itunes has no appeal. Help me out PEOPLE. Recommend me some shiz but if I see any pop music down there, I'll.....I'll.. Ummmmmm Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, I'll steal your pillow cases.

Anyway I just found this site: http://www.gnoosic.com/

You type in 3 of your favourite bands, mine being Radiohead, Weezer and 30 Seconds to Mars and it gives you recommendations. Lets see what I get...

Lost Prophets - MEH Do they even have any other songs that aren't Rooftops?
+44 - They aren't that bad actually.
Sick Puppies - Who the flip? I want to youtube them but what if I just get slideshows of puppies looking slightly miserable. Too greater risk I'm afraid.

OK, Sick Puppies are actually pretty awesome. Although he sounds a bit like Chad Kroeger in the chorus and we all know thats not a good thing. Whose next up..

The Summer Obsession - Also meh and yes I am basing all these judgements on one song.
Kill Hannah - He looks like the Joker with a Robert Smith haircut.

That's enough for now. It hasn't helped much. I might try and get back into The Cure talking of Robert Smith. My uber-collection of The Cure is starting to attract dust.

BYEE

=W=

When I come and fly and take over your face.

2009-10-22T08:30:00.000-07:00

That is correct, I NMRNOMG of Hatredcopter have returned from Cornwall. What were you doing in Cornwall I hear you ask...

Slaying Dragons?
Eating Pasties?
Building Ships?
All of the above?

Nope, none of these. I just did a bit of reading. I say a bit, I was epically bored and had a lovely 3 hour reading session. 170 solid pages of Danny Wallace hilarity. I finished Join Me feeling satisfied and decided that Danny Wallace would probably make the best leader of the world ever. I'm thinking of starting a petition to get him into power.

Also, I think I'm a bit of a sap. Get this.... I enjoy Romance films. I KNOW! It's a recent realisation. I'm not sure if I'm OK with it yet and that's the reason I'm announcing it for my closest friends to see on my blog. Lost In Translation is just such a beautiful film. It's turned me over to romantic films. Although it's not really a romance film, I won't bother explaining it, just watch it.

So yeah, Cornwall. It was OK. I went with my dad and we didn't do much. He said he just wanted to chill out while he doesn't have work. So initially I thought 'Yeah that sounds cool'. It took me all of 2 minutes after walking through the door to our cottage to realise 'Hey wait...All I do all day every day is chill out and do nothing'. So I got kind of bored relatively quickly.

I know what you're thinking... How many hours did it take to get back NMRNOMG?

Well, I'll tell you. THREE. THREE HOURS. It was oh so very dull. I ended up listening to the entirety of my Eels collection as well as my Bowie collection mixed with a little Muse. I had a headache but I couldn't stand listening to Radio 2 blabbering on a bout Nick Griffin going on Question Time. I say let him. The way I see it is that all his BNP followers are already racist bastards and the rest of us nice people don't give a shit about what he has to say. SO why can't we just let him get on with it and ignore him like we were always going to, instead of getting into a big fuss about it. Meh, I couldn't care less.

Now, I don't know about you but I get freaked out really easily. The cottage I stayed at in Cornwall wasn't particularly spooky but I got a weird feeling from my room. I am in no way superstitious, I don't believe in ghosts or spirits or poltergeists. But still this feeling was there. This is the point I'm leading to though - Whenever I am in a unfamiliar place trying to go to bed, the first thing that enters my head, without fail, is the scariest thing I can think of. Either the crazy pig mask person from Saw or that woman in The Ring who they find in the cupboard all messed up. I don't know what it is. It seems to be reflex. Anyway, those thoughts lead to some loooooong nights. Any creak in the floorboards had me on edge. I'm a wuss I know.

Guess what?

BORED NOW

BYEE

=W=

40th Post

2009-10-14T11:24:00.000-07:00

40 fucking posts....

FORTY

That's what happen when you don't plan what you want to do after school....

FORTY

I don't know. What ever will I do with my life? I only need 10 more posts to reach 50. 10 doesn't seem like many but 50 certainly does. I can't ever get to 50... That must be the sign of a loser, if nothing else is. Don't let me reach 50, everyone tell me how much they hate my blog and how it's sucking the joy out of life and how I have too much time and hatred in my soul. Or something along those lines anyway.

Plan B could be to just reach 49 and start another blog called Hatredcopter V.2 @ I-Cant-Believe-Im-STILL-Doing-This.blogspot.com. Never ending circle of hatredcopters circling your interwebs with their circle-y propellers of hate and despair.

That doesn't seem logical. You'd have stopped reading by then. All.......FIVE of my followers. That's like....a VERY small army or....a boy band.

This is my first truly random post in quite a while. I've been to preoccupied with real life but not today... Today had absolutely no fun/interesting/thought-provoking events. Suck on that life (or lack of).

BYEE

=W=

You know what I really hate....

2009-10-12T12:57:00.000-07:00

Firstly, vague attention seeking facebook statuses. 'Vein Attention Starved Bitch is feeling upset... :('

How desperate is that! It really drives me up the wall. Either tell the world if you broke another nail or shut the fuck up. I don't want you to attempt to entice me into your life by being distant and generic. And I won't comment saying 'OH FUCKING NO WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? STOP THE FUCKING CLOCKS, NOTHING GETS DONE TILL THIS BITCH SPILLS THE BEANS AND SHE FEELS BETTER ABOUT HERSELF' So THERE to everyone on my facebook who is like that and you know who you are. Luckily it's nobody I really care about so I don't have to feel guilty.

Secondly, Now I say 'I hate that more then anything in the world' quite regularly but there is one thing that sits above the rest (not including people). That's 'Team Building Exercises' or 'Training Days' etc. They are THE most ridiculous waste of any ones time ever created. In a way I guess they should get some sort of award for that. In my time, I have been to quite a few. I used to be one of the more disruptive students in secondary school and got put into this 'Learning to Learn Day' with the rest of the schools delinquents. In this class, we learnt such useful skills like....juggling. No shit. I learnt to juggle. I can barely do it anymore but at that time because of that day, I could juggle. We were also given these little booklets to fill in what we had learnt in that part of the day and we lucky little bastards were given crayons to design our own front cover! I know! Lucky old me. Being the sarcy trouble maker I am, I decided my front cover would be a purple dot in the middle of the page. I laughed to myself in irony as everybody struggled to think of ideas and took their time to express themselves a little.

Our 'teachers' for the day were called Jon and Jan and wore bright orange t-shirts. They REALLY didn't like me and I reckon they realised this right at the beginning when I refused to do anymore then that little purple dot. Later on we had this other little exercise to... to be honest I have no idea what use this exercise was, you can tell me after I explain it.

We all stood in a circle facing each other. Then we slapped our thighs repetitively to sound like racehorses running, obviously. Then we Jon shouted jump we all had to raise our hands in the air like a Mexican wave. You'll find it no surprise that I refused to degrade myself that much and I stood there laughing at everyone. Jon and Jan didn't like that...

Even further on in that day we had to talk about our hero's. Some self obsessed plastic blonde said hers was some guy from eastenders 'because he was fit'. I simply couldn't let this go and proceeded to shout 'Shallow!' hidden very loosely in a cough. Which in turn lead to her and her chavvy gang shouting at me while once again...I sat there laughing. That one really upset Jon and Jan because it landed me in an after school detention. I still find it all funny.

Things I currently love are:

Weezer
30 Seconds to Mars
and as always Karl Pilkington

Fuck me a frightened worm!

I'm bored now. Byee

=W=

P.S. Warburton's may be the nations favourite but it's not mine and I want you all to know that I am not included in that majority.

P.S.S I have no favourite but it's certainly not Warburtons

3 Unexpected Pains

2009-10-11T09:21:00.000-07:00

I told myself I wasn't going to get drunk last night but my family pissed me off so I decided it was probably the best idea I have ever had ever. 3 or 4 pints of Carling, 1 big bottle of Smirnoff and who knows how much Vodka and I was out of it. There wasn't any really interesting stories to come from last night though, no concussion or anything. I did however wake up with a strange pain on the side of my head, a stabbing pain in my back and a dulling pain in my stomach. It now hurts whenever I move. Hooray.

In other news, I have been enjoying the delights of proper British comedy. Father Ted, IT Crowd, Peep Show and Black Books mainly. Makes me proud to be English. We really know how to do it. Father Ted is simply one of the best shows ever made ever. Father Ted is the main reason to like Graham Norton, after seeing him in this I just love him. Before I watched Father Ted he drove me nuts but now... He's brilliant. Apparently there's no clips of him in Father Ted on YouTube so you'll have to do with this:

Recently a good friend recommended Harlan Coben to me and because I was bored I just bought one regardless. The other day my copy of Tell No One arrived. Later that day I was turning on my PC and decided to read the first page while I waited just to see what it was like. I got so hooked in that I ended up reading the first 5 chapters before finally forcing myself to stop. It really is a great book and I haven't even finished it yet. If any book could beat Duma Key for my favourite, this would be it. So we shall see.

In musical related news, I have finally gotten back into playing my drums. Playing and listening to a lot of Weezer. Blue Album is now one of my favourite albums of all time. Also my band has pretty much dis'band'ed, We all decided that it's not going to work out. My taste in music has gone a lot less heavy, while the other members have moved into heavy metal, glam or somewhere in between. It's probably for the best. Honestly I'm happier for it, I really didn't feel comfortable with that band, I should have mentioned the fact that I don't want to play heavy music anymore a long time ago. Ah well.

I'M GOING TO GO NOW. I FELT LIKE BLOGGING BUT ITS NOT COMING TO ME AS WELL AS I EXPECTED SO I'M GOING TO GIVE UP. BYEE

Late night news

2009-10-05T19:57:00.000-07:00

The time is 03:57 and THIS JUST IN.

I just found this on 4chan, that's right. It's 4 in the fucking morning and im sitting on 4chan listening to the Ricky Gervais Show. Anyway, that pic is one of those crazy cross your eyes to see the middle picture and its all 3D... It's mental and awesome, if you can do it right.

Anyway back to not being tired.

Byee

Something's wrong with me....

2009-10-03T18:39:00.000-07:00

I remember the time my old form tutor wanted me to have anger management. That all started because I was in a particularly shitty mood one day. It was in maths and I just decided I couldn't be fucked, laid my head down on the table and stared blankly into nothingness. My teacher called out the register, passed my name with no answer but then realised I was in fact in the classroom.

"NOT MY REAL NAME OMG.... Why didn't you answer?"

*Stares blankly*

"NMRNOMG?...."

*Blinks*

She left it at that. Later on once she had given out the work, she returned to me in my peaceful state.

"Have you started the work?"

*Sits there with no books on desk, thinks 'Guess...'*

"Why haven't you done anything"

*...*

"YOU CANT JUST SIT AND DO NOTHING, GET YOUR HEAD OFF THE DESK"

*Removes head from desk, leans back and looks into her eyes*

"What's wrong? Do you need to leave?"

*...*

"THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE, Are you refusing to do your work?"

*...*

"If your refusing to do your work, I'll have to go get the head of year"

*...*

"FINE, GET OUT OF MY CLASSROOM AND WAIT OUTSIDE"

*leaves*

This was obviously of much amusement to the class. So I left the room, waited outside. She went and got some head of year type person to talk to me. I once again said nothing. I was THEN referred to some other woman who tries to help people with personal problems and still I said nothing. Eventually, she referred me to counselling. The day after that I shouted at my teacher because he was being a dick. He sent me outside and said "I know your having a bad time at the moment but that is unacceptable, I think you should have anger management". I laughed in his face...

I honestly don't know why I refused to talk. At first it was just a bad mood, then it became slightly amusing, then a challenge I guess. To see how far I could make it go. Turns out...Quite far. Where the anger management came from I don't know. I just shouted at him, nothing out of the ordinary.

Good times...

Time for this deranged, crazy, angry person to leave you now. I have some issues I need to punch out on the wall.

Byee

I have nothing.

2009-10-01T16:43:00.000-07:00

I've been at my cousins for the past week or so now. Had to get away from things at home. It's helped a lot, I've learnt to go back to my old self, the laid back Not my real name OMG everyone used to know and love. Seriously, This week has made me realised how much I have changed. I'm so uptight and worried and upset nowadays but I think I've found my roots and gone back to not giving a shit. Well, It's not like I don't give a shit, it just doesn't bother me. I used to be so laid back, just let all confrontations pass me by and chill out in the background. I want to go back to that.

Enough of the life lessons. I've had a right laugh at my cousins. Lot's of sleeping, Lot's of gaming and a hint of alcohol. My cousin had the idea to fill a shot glass up with straight vodka and then put a marshmallow in it to soak it all up. We did so and later ate the marshmallows, which were interesting to say the least. But what we were left with in the shot glass is where the story comes from. What was left over was this cloudy white vodka substance. Being an idiot, I drank it. I can tell you now, It is one of the worst tasting things ever. I stomached it nonetheless and continued to dare my cousin into drinking his. After some persuasion he did so and immediately hurled it back up into his hand....and all over my bed. No joke. He couldn't handle the taste. It really was rank.

When I haven't been doing one of the above activities I have been spending time with my Godson and Godson to be. They're crazy, E is 2 years old and I'm not sure how old C is, younger then E though. I love them to bits though, I can't stop laughing when they are around. I was talking to E today and he randomly said 'Cya later' in his high pitched voice and then shut the door in my face. C does nothing but smile at me all day. E has the habit of describing anything he sees as 'the biggest X he's ever seen'. So when he had a Poppadom today, obviously it was the biggest crisp he's ever seen. Who knows where he picks it up. Bless him. He's finally gotten used to me, he's always been a bit scared of me but I've been playing with him every day for the past week so I've been accepted. It's already showing, I'm not kidding, he wanted to play Halo 3 with me and he got his first triple kill....

In other news, I've been randomly buying things again. I've kept cost down to a minimum but it'll only get worse. I bought Lost in Translation on DVD, Echobrain by Echobrain (that's Jason Newsted's old band (Jason Newsted is the ex-bassist of Metallica (Metallica are awesome) ) ). And I bought this awesome Atticus t-shirt. But the best news of all is that the limited edition of Wolfmother's new album, Cosmic Egg, is finally available for pre-order in UK. That made me happy, I'll ignore the fact that the only way to get all the bonus songs is to pre-order the US only itunes special edition.... But oh well.

I'm kind of looking forward to getting back home, although I'll miss everyone here, it's much more interesting here. I have missed talking to a certain person, they know who they are, I eagerly await their tales of the past week and their abuse, then the struggle to get them to apologise. It never gets old...

So, I'll be leaving now, I still need a title for this post.... Hmmmmmm

No really, I have nothing. That'll do....

Byee

Photoshoppings

2009-09-23T16:36:00.000-07:00

Well, I feel like blogging but don't have much to say so I'm going to share some of my old Photoshop stuff with you.Hope this has worked...Looks funny to me. Anyway tell me what you think.

I hate Hugh Dennis

2009-09-17T14:28:00.000-07:00

I hate Hugh Dennis.

I hate him.

Afterthought

2009-09-13T14:19:00.000-07:00

Just after publishing the latest installment of Hatredcopter, I browsed through this months posts and remember posting about the 'Every time a car drives past you, stop and do a silly pose' game. That was only 2 weeks ago. Surely I can't have grown up in that short time. Maybe not all hope is lost.

I think I'm starting to grow up....le gulp

2009-09-13T13:56:00.000-07:00

If you haven't already heard the events that transpired last night then you suck and I hate you. Except you but definitely you. OK? I'm glad that's cleared up. ANYWAY so yet another drinking fest started last night at around 7. We had 2 bottles of Sourz to get through so we headed up to the White Horse (that's not some pub its the big white horse on the hill). After many Smirnoffs and obviously 2 bottles of Sourz, most of us were completely out of it. We were about to head into down when one of my friends decided to try (once again) to push someone down the hill. Side note: he already tried it on me but me being twice his height just pushed him off me, rofl. I guess he had learnt from that because his next target was my very good friend P, who is a lot shorter then me. I hope there was a point where it suddenly twigged in his head 'Hey, this was a really fucking stupid idea!' because what proceeded to happen was both of them hitting a barbed wire fence and then P falling all the way down the hill, receiving mild concussion, a fractured rib and a puncture in his thigh. I should mention, we didn't find this out till the day after as, to much objection from me, a decision was made for P to stay out and just have another drink. It hit me today, there would have been a time when I would have just laughed and told him to get another drink. But even in my VERY drunken state I was genuinely concerned and wanted to take him home. Does this mean I'm growing up finally? (I am 18) Maybe it was just the extreme circumstances... Just in case you are worried about him, P went to hospital today and is feeling a lot better.

More happened that night that made me think I'm growing up. As I sat there with all my friends making complete fools of themselves around me, I just couldn't help but kind of think that I didn't want to be there. I enjoy having a good laugh and getting drunk but maybe I'm past all the stupidness. I sat and had funny conversations, told jokes and had a generally good time. It's just that for some odd reason, I don't find pissing in a cup and trying to get somebody to believe it was cider and then drink it that funny anymore. Just gross. Furthermore I guess I don't find it particularly funny when somebody hits said cup into another persons face. Hmmmm. Who knows?

Sorry for this blog being a bit of a downer, just some stuff I needed to get out. Please don't hate me for being responsible, I'm sure the same old immature 'OMG Not My Real Name' is still here somewhere.

Byee

Screenplay

2009-09-08T06:44:00.000-07:00

Well...This is my screenplay, or an opening to a possible screenplay. I might write it all, I did enjoy writing this. It's about 6 pages long on Microsoft Word so you might not have the patience to read it all but please tell me what you think. It's called World Forgotten and it got an A in Film Studies so YAY ME. It's in a weird format because that's the way you're supposed to write screenplays but it got a bit messed up when I copied it across to here. Oh yeah and if you want to leave a comment, the comment button is on the top right of each post now instead of the bottom, it's this weird skin template that did it, looks good though.

1. EXT. DESERTED RURAL TOWN EARLY MORNING 1.

The whole town is in view but devoid of life, all cars are parked and litter is strewn across the roads. It’s a visibly cold and windy morning blowing newspaper pages across the street. The plant life is dead, dry and colourless making the scene even more surreal. Long backstreet alleys are distinctly quiet and shop windows are dark and dusty.

2. EXT. BRIDGE OVER WIDE RAPID RIVER 2.

RICHARD EDEN is sitting, hunched over, on the edge of the bridge staring blankly into the river. Richard laughs to himself silently. Richard is in his early twenties, tall with short light brown hair and in good shape.

FADE TO BLACK

3. FLASHBACK: INT. MODERN APARTMENT MORNING 3.

An alarm clock rings out obsessively, it shows 8:14. The sun blasts through the blinds on the wall length windows, hurting Richards eyes as he awakes. He is surprised to find the bed empty, his girlfriend ANNE, has obviously left for work early. Rubbing his eyes, Richard gets out of bed and opens the blinds showing Manchester bright and early from the 6th story of this apartment block.

Slowly Richard slumps towards the bathroom and does his usual routine, shower, cleaning his teeth and today a shave.

Richard then heads to the kitchen, on his way to the fridge he turns on the coffee machine. After grabbing the milk, he closes the fridge to see a pink post-it note stuck over a photo of him and Anne at a BBQ. Anne has dark brown hair, about shoulder length, she looks younger then Richard. Anne also seems a lot more at ease then Richard in the photo, she is very outgoing whereas Richard is more sensible and professional. But they look like they belong together. The note reads: “Had to leave early, big meeting. Love You xx”, with a small smile Richard heads back to the coffee machine. Standing at his window drinking his coffee, Richard looks at his view of Manchester on a sunny morning.

4. EXT. OUTSIDE APARTMENT BLOCK 4.

Richard goes to open the door of his BMW when his mobile rings. It’s Anne.

RICHARD
Hey

ANNE
Hi, sorry I missed you this morning, I forgot to mention I had an early meeting

RICHARD
Don’t worry about it. How was it?

ANNE
(laughing)
It was the most boring thing I’ve ever had to do.

RICHARD
You really need to leave this job.

ANNE
Yeah, but what then?
(She pauses then exhales deeply)
Anyway, I’ve got to go. I’ll be home late tonight.
So I’ll see you later, ok?

RICHARD
Yeah, ok. See you tonight.

ANNE
Bye

RICHARD
Bye

5. INT. RICHARDS CAR 5.

Richard puts a CD into the CD player, PLANET TELEX by RADIOHEAD plays through the car speakers.

6. EXT. RICHARDS CAR OUTSIDE APARTMENT 6.

Richard pulls away from the pavement and heads towards work.

7. EXT. M61 MOTORWAY 7.

The stereo still playing Radiohead, Richard quietly sings along. The road is busy but not at a standstill. The pace of the traffic suddenly picks up, Richard is now travelling at 60mph. A lorry swings across the road in front of him.

(The sound cuts out here leaving only ‘Street Spirit by Radiohead’ playing)

The back door flies open and a crate shoots out the open lorry and crashes into Richards front window. He flinches and compulsively swerves to the left, off the road.

8. INT. RICHARDS CAR 8.

The car barrel rolls down the hill, glass shatters and the doors fling open and bend under the pressure. Richard is shook about like a rag doll as he carries on spinning down the hill.

CUTS TO BLACK
(Music fades out)

9. EXT.LOOKING IN THROUGH THE CARS FRONT WINDOW MIDNIGHT 9.

The car is on its side smashed up against a tree. Richard opens his eyes for what seems the first time in about a week. Water drips from the opening, where a door once stood and onto his face. He has dried blood in his hair and over his forehead. Richard looks out the front window, trying to recognise his surroundings. He unclips his seat belt and drops to the side of the car, Richard now scrambles to get upright and starts climbing out the car.

10. EXT. FIELD BY THE MOTORWAY 10.

Richard emerges from the car and takes a look at the deep blue cloudy sky. His breath comes out in clouds of fog. Ignoring the cold Richard hauls himself over the top of the car and drops onto the soft wet ground. Now the cold hits him, arms folded and shoulders hunched he jogs up the small hill to the motorway.

11. EXT. M61 MOTORWAY 11.

The motorway is deadly silent and still. The cars are spread about in clusters, smashed together. An ambulance is parked near where Richard came off the road, its lights still flashing blue and white but its siren cannot be heard. The ambulance is surrounded by cones and a police car is parked either side of the broken barrier that Richards BMW crashed through.

Richard see’s the flashing lights and picks up his pace.

RICHARD
Hey!
(he pauses while his breathing becomes heavier)
Hey, Over here!

When Richard reaches the top of the hill, the state of the motorway stops his walk immediately. In shock he looks up and down the cluttered road.

RICHARD
(under his breath)
Oh my god

Richard runs over to the ambulance and peers in through the window.

12. INT. AMBULANCE FRONT SEATS 12.

Inside the ambulance are 2 dead paramedics, their heads leaning to one side with expressionless faces. Richard panics and backs away from the window quickly.

13. EXT. MOTORWAY 13.

He backs onto the bonnet of one of the idle police cars and rests on it, catching his breath. Curiously he turns his head and realises his fears were right, the policeman who once drove this car, is slung over the steering wheel, face down. Instead of jumping away, this time he can’t help but stare right at the body.

Eventually he turns back and looks at the ground. A thought comes into his head, his phone. Shakily he reaches inside his suit pocket and pulls out his phone. No service.

RICHARD
Damn it.

Disappointed he slowly puts his phone back.

14. EXT. ROAD SIGN ON MOTORWAY 14.

The sign says: ‘Service station 5 Miles’

15. EXT. POLICE CAR ON MOTORWAY 15.

Richard looks down from the sign and back to the dead policeman, then back to the floor. He forces himself to get up, shaking, he heads towards the driver’s door. Reluctantly he reaches for the door handle and pulls it open. Trying to stay calm, Richard takes a deep breath. Calmly he moves the body away from the steering wheel. Richard blindly fumbles around to see if the keys are still in the ignition. Luckily they are still there, he turns the key and the engine whimpers into life, struggling to start. Richard tries again.

RICHARD
Come on…

This time the engine springs into life, roaring into the soundless night.

RICHARD
Yes!

Now Richard faces the body off the policeman again, he knows he has to move him out the car, but is obviously hesitant. He quickly grapples the lifeless corpse under the arms and drags him out the car without thinking. He lies him on the side of the road and heads back to the car trying not to think about it.

16. EXT. FURTHER ALONG THE MOTORWAY 16.

The police car can’t get to its top speed for all the littered cars in the road. Richard has to weave in and out of the debris.

17. INT. POLICE CAR FRONT SEATS 17.

Richard is clearly tense and scared, his grip onto the steering wheel is firm and his eyes don’t leave the road.

18. EXT. SERVICE STATION CAR PARK MIDNIGHT 18.

The entrance to the car park is blocked my cars, Richard parks where he can and walks the rest of the way. As he paces past the inanimate queue of cars, he peers in to the car windows, each and every car has at least one body slumped in their seats. Richard starts to panic and breaks into a run past the cars.

19. EXT. SERVICE STATION ENTRANCE 19.

The lights in the service station are out and the automatic doors are stuck slightly open. Several bodies are visible through the door, lying on the floor.

20. INT. SERVICE STATION 20.

Richard approaches the door and pokes his head inside.

RICHARD
Hello?

His voice echoes around the building and never receives a reply. Richard squeezes himself through the door and walks cautiously onward. On the left is a small stall selling the random stuff you would expect at a service station, deck chairs, umbrellas, footballs etc. Richard goes over to it, ignoring the dead owner relaxing in one of his own deck chairs. He finds some flash lights and picks up a couple testing them as he does so. All of them work, so he pockets a couple of them and carries on, lighting his path.

21. INT. SERVICE STATION SHOP 21.

RICHARD
(repeating himself)
Hello?

Richard heads over to the newspaper stand and picks up a copy of The Sun. It’s dated 9th April 2008, he then checks the date on his phone which shows 12th April 2008. Putting his phone away again, he skims through the headlines. None of the newspapers have any out of the ordinary headlines. Dropping the newspaper, Richard runs his hands through his hair, looking stressed.

Giving the shop a quick glance over, Richard heads towards the drinks counter and grabs a bottle of water. He downs this in one go followed by two more bottles. Finishing with a deep sigh of relief.

Richard stops half way through a bottle of water and looks around the store again. He heads towards some cheap backpacks and brings one back to the drink counter and places more water bottles into his bag as well as his flashlights. He walks around the shop, packing any food that hasn’t gone off into his bag then leaves, eating a chocolate bar.

22. INT. SERVICE STATION LOBBY 22.

Richard lays his bag on the floor by the shop door, and heads towards the cafe.

Booze Cruise

2009-09-06T12:49:00.000-07:00

Had another booze cruise last night, it was epic. I had 3 pints of Carling, 2 WKD Blues, 1 Corona and 2 Vodka and Cokes. I was out of it (I'm a lightweight). Learnt some new things about myself... For example, I find all my clothes by roaming the streets of Marlborough naked looking through bins. Also men create stink pencils, oh and most importantly, I can't do press-ups even with the assistance of a crane. But I do wear my harness underneath my clothes just in case.

On the way home me and P played the 'Every time a car drives past you, stop and do a silly pose' game. It's amazingly fun, I recommend it to all of you. I got home about 20 past 1, then I watched Osmosis Jones on TV. I'll tell you now, that movie is a LOT funnier if your really drunk. I woke up this morning, amazingly, without any form of hangover whatsoever. Which was nice. It was one of the most fun nights I've ever had. Spent a bit too much though. It's only the 6th and I'm already on my last £30. It's just not good enough.

I continued to spend the rest of today doing nothing. Although I should go to bed soon, I'm working tomorrow.. Not cool, especially not cool since we have an outside consultant lady watching us all day. It just couldn't be any more unappealing, could it? That's all I feel like saying for today, Byee

Updatery

2009-09-03T13:16:00.000-07:00

Just some thoughts I had bouncing around today. It's just dawned on me...That I have decided on a gap year. Thats a year...A whole year. That I don't really have any clue about, If I don't get a full time job soon I'm not sure how I will fill my time. Maybe i'll just blog...forever. Now thats a scary thought.

I also realised today, how very proud I am of my film studies result. I got a B since you ask. But I informed my cousin today, somebody I care about more then most, no offense to all you other friends and it just dawned on me how awesome a B is. I have an a-level that doesn't suck balls. I spent 2 years at school and actually achieved something and I skipped many lessons! There's your lesson, you don't need to work hard for qualifications. I'm such a good role model. Lets just ignore my E in media shall we?

I bought the new Dream Theater album yesterday, it's 2 hours of epic, that's what it is. I would listen to it more but I just don't have time. The first (and my favourite) song is 13 minutes long. I'm especially loving it more due to the fact I haven't turned my bass speaker off since my parents got back from their weekend break thing and they haven't mentioned it yet. I won't tell if you don't.

Money is becoming an issue. I'm getting increasingly worried since I looked at all the games I need to buy in the upcoming months.

Sept: Halo 3: ODST
Oct: Borderlands, Alan Wake, Alpha Protocol
Nov: Modern Warfare 2, Assassins Creed 2 (with Danny Wallace!!) and Left 4 Dead 2

Assuming each game is around £40, apart from ODST which I found for £30, that's £270. Considering the fact that I only make about £130 a month, I'm royally screwed. I'm afraid I have no choice, I just have to have all these games. I could possibly lose Alan Wake and Alpha Protocol. Save £80. Let's not even think of the games I need to buy in 2010 (Bioshock 2, Mass Effect 2, Rage and more.) Such an expensive hobby, why couldn't I have chosen something else, like knitting? That's cool right? Wait, I'm a gaming nerd, that's not cool either. Darn.

Anyway, running out of thoughts here.

Byee

P.S. I found out the screenplay opening I wrote gave me an A. I'm considering posting the screenplay up on here for you guys to read and give me feedback on because I'm actually considering writing the whole thing. Tell me if you wanna see it.

Before it's too late.

2009-08-31T14:10:00.000-07:00

I've started to go off the idea of blogging, not sure why. I used to enjoy it. I'm thinking if I force myself to blog now, it might get me back into the swing of things. Here goes.

Whats new with me...hmmmm. I have started to listen to a lot more podcasts, I know, I'm a nerd. Get over it. I've been listening to more of The Ricky Gervais Show and The Danny Wallace Podcast and Stephen Fry's Podcast. They're all pretty damn funny.

I was listening to an episode of The Danny Wallace Podcast the other day and it happened to include one of the best jokes I've ever heard. It would be unfair to make you read it, you need to hear it to get the full effect. If you want to hear it, ask me and i'll send it to you. But if you don't care, then I'll write it out below. You have been warned.

Joke starts.

What is the difference between a duck?

One of it's legs is both the same.

Joke ends.

The silly, childish part of me...well the dominant part of me I suppose, just couldn't stop laughing at that. I love it.

A lot of my time is spent trying to get my sleeping pattern back to normal. I just can't sleep, I hate it. Thank God for sleeping pills, thats what I say. I started taking them again just the other day and I had honestly forgotten what it feels like to have a good nights sleep. It was bliss. Thinking about it...I think i've been dreaming less since I started the sleeping pills. Or I can't remember them at least. Could be a side effect...

BLARG, why is this so difficult. It used to come so easy. I have no thoughts, we're back to square one. I'm going to quit while I'm ahead. I promise I'll come back though.

Byee

Malcolm In The Middle

2009-08-31T13:49:00.001-07:00

One of my friends, you know who you are, doesn't think Malcolm in the Middle is awesome. Plus it is one of the most underrated shows of all time. I want to convert people. But my persuasive skills aren't that great, so i'm just going to find some of my top moments of the show. Depends what I can find on youtube really. In no particular order.... Here we go:

and

then a bit of this

also

don't forget

Most of them revolve around Dewie but thats because Dewie is awesome.

WATCH MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE NOW

Byee

Happy fucking Saturday

2009-08-22T10:41:00.000-07:00

Well, today was one of the shittiest days in history...

The events of today/yesterday are as follows:

-Semi-arguement with my mum about over-protecting my precious little flower of a sister.
-She decides I can't have mates over in case my sister feels 'overwhelmed'.

Next Day

- Have to wake up early to iron clothes
- Feel ill
- Got no sleep
- Mum decides she wants to continue the arguement
- Post arrives
- Letter for me telling me that my Job Seekers Allowance will now be £10 less
- Get to work
- Find that all the crap I moved from one shelf to on shelf to the left last weekend has now all been moved upstairs either way
- I then have to move more crap upstairs all day
- Turns out the shop I work in doubles up as an oven
- My boss decides the 2 overtime hours i'm doing next week don't count as overtime so I don't get time and a half pay
- Mum doesn't pick me up in time
- Picks me up when i've basicly walked all the way back
- Tells me we are going to Waitrose
- Go back into town...

Now here I am, finally, pissed off, tired, slightly depressed and bored. So tonight will involve a lot of alcohol. Yes, this post has been quite depressing and serious. But fuck you, i've had a bad day, why should I cheer you up?

Happy Fucking Saturday

Books make me emotional.

2009-08-17T15:23:00.001-07:00

Last night I finally finished the book which took me about 3-4 months, probably more to finish. It wasn't that long but I just got bored of it, then got back into it. The book i'm talking about is 'Friends Like These' by Danny Wallace. The description of it is here:

Danny Wallace is about to turn thirty and his life has become a cliche. Recently married and living in a smart new area of town, he's swapped pints for lattes and had even contemplated buying coasters. Something wasn't right - he was feeling way too grown-up. Until - Danny finds an old address book containing just twelve names. His best mates as a kid. Where are they now? Who are they now? And how are they coping with this scary concept of being grown-up? And so begins a journey from A-Z, tracking down and meeting his old gang. He travels from Berlin to Tokyo, from Sydney to LA. He even goes to Loughborough. He meets Fijian chiefs. German rappers. Some ninjas. And a carvery manager who's managed to solve time travel. But how will they respond to a man they haven't seen in twenty years, turning up and asking if they're coming out to play? Friends Like These is the story of what can happen when you track down your past, and of where the friendships you thought you'd outgrown can take you today...

Hi, me again. I'm not sure what made me buy the book, had no previous experience of Danny Wallace apart from watching Yes Man. But i'm very glad that I did. Friends Like These is a great book, very funny, inciteful and touching. It's one of those books were you geniunely feel that you have been what they have. So as I said, i finished it last night and as always I get a little emotional. To me a book is a big part of my life while i'm reading it. It takes me quite a long time and I get so involved in it that it hurts once it's over and I have to let go. I feel like I have to say goodbye to a friend. I know it's sad but I don't care, I love how much I get into a book, it makes it so much better. I also find that whenever I finish a book, I close it and look at the back of the book and i'm always lying in bed at about 2 in the morning. Then I suddenly notice the silence. After i've finished that last page, the silence gets to me and that's when I think about the book.

Friends Like These is probably my second favourite book, which i'm quite surprised to say seeing as it took me so long to really enjoy it. My all time favourite book is Duma Key. I ADORE that book, that book has had me more involved then any other. Part of it had me close to tears. It's a beautiful book, the imagery will never leave me. I have the whole of the house in which it takes place, perfectly mapped out in my head.

I currently have the GnR biography lined up next. Then after that more Stephen King and then some wierd book about vampires that my mum recommended to me called The Historian. Although with past experiences with biographies tells me I probably won't read the GnR book. I'll try though. I am now very keen to read Duma Key again. It's currently being passed between family members so it may take a while before I get the chance.

Aaaaaaaaaaaanyway, i'm off now. So Byee

Foam Banana's RULE

2009-08-15T13:48:00.000-07:00

I've eaten too many sweets.

Now I feel sick.

Shots go straight to my head.

2009-08-13T15:11:00.000-07:00

Went on my very first pub crawl last night. It was a friends 18th birthday, so we cruised around Marlborough with the intent to drink. Started off at Azuza during happy hour, then moved on to a place I don't know the name of to play some pool. By then I was still relatively sober, on my 3rd pint. The next pub is when the shots came into play. I had 2 Apple Sours, 2 Shots of Tequila and 1 Shot of Jagermeister. After that, I was out of it. So was my dear friend P who I have never seen so drunk. It was the funniest thing ever. I don't remember much of the night after that, some highlights include...

Trying to stand upright withOUT leaning on something/someone. P punching a pizza...twice. My quote "I'm having trouble focusing...on things" Throwing chips at people. Stealing a tenner from P and running around Marlborough with it. Falling backwards off the swings. We called it a night at about 11 and said our goodbyes. Good night. Not, however, a good morning. Waking up with a sharp pain in your head isn't among my favourite methods.

Eventually abused a 4 for £20 deal at HMV couple of days ago. I'm quite pleased with my choices. American History X: Very hard hitting drama about Nazi's basically, but it's better then it sounds. I can't do it justice without spoiling it, just watch a trailer. In my opinion it is one of Edward Norton's best performance, the best being his role in the 25th Hour. HAHA you were expecting me to say Fight Club, but no. I Win. Next film in my deal was In Bruges, an independent film about 2 hit men who have to lay low in Bruges, funnily enough, after a job goes wrong. Extremely funny, Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson are brilliant throughout and a great short spurt from the wonderful Ralph Fiennes. Also bought Yes Man, just because it was there and I need more happy films, I did really enjoy it at the cinema though. I just can't resist Zooey Deschanel, I think she may actually be the perfect woman. I'm listening to her album at the moment. Very different from the usual stuff I listen to, but she has such a great voice I had to give it a try. I'm really enjoying it.

Last film in my deal is Somers Town which I haven't seen yet. Directed by Shane Meadows, who I studied in Film Studies. Director of This Is England and Dead Man's Shoes 2 of my favourite movies. Thomas Turgoose stars in it, the boy who plays the lead role in This Is England. So I'm looking forward to that.

I'll leave you with this. The most desirable woman on the planet:

Byee

Love to Hate and Hate to Love

2009-08-11T14:49:00.000-07:00

Warning: Contains Strong Language and a LOT OF FUCKING HATRED

First things first.

Hate to Love: Frankie Boyle...

You can't help but love him...He's so quirky and...well...scottish. But the reason I hate to love him is this and i'll be using an elaborate metaphor for this. For Frankie to answer a question AND for it to be funny, he has to wander away from reality and into his little forest of random dreams until he stumbles onto somthing unusually random. In this case an upset gopher who can't pay off his mortgage. Then Frankie catches this gopher with an equally random and quirky manner like enticing him with a carrot made of the joy that comes from a fat kid when he see's a dougnut. Then he lugs said gopher back to the studio and show's it off to the audience.

You see what I did there? I took the piss of what I dislike about him while explaining it. How quirky and random of me. But seriously, he just can't stay on topic. Occasionally I have seen him(try to) make a funny answer that is relevant and it's usually not as funny. On the other hand, all his little trips into Dream Forest, always come back hilarious. Behind my laughter is an angry me saying NO! I only thought of this because he was on one of my new favourite shows 'You Have Been Watching'

This links nicely onto my next Love to Hate. Mock the Week. More precisely Hugh Dennis. 1. He's not funny and 2. He's a smug little bastard. For some reason the morons who watch that show do find him funny and he milks them for every last laugh he can, through this very simple method. He stare's at them so they feel pressured to laugh, it look's a little like this:

JUST LOOK AT THE SMUGNESS OF THAT! In his mind, he is the funniest person to ever grace us mere mortals with his presence. "I've made my joke, now to make SURE they know i'm funny *Dennis Stare*" He pisses me off so much. He recently slithered his way onto another of my favourite TV shows 'Hotel Babylon'. Guess who he played in it? That's right himself, well..not exactly but I imagine it's pretty close to how he see's himself. He played this adultering, ladies man celebrity and spends the whole episode pissing off his wife by trying it on with any woman he can see, who by the way are lapping him up. It's like he went to Jim'll Fix It and said "I want the world to see me...*pause for effect and for us to soak up his extravagence* as I see me." Voila! Hotel Babylon...

I did intend on ranting about Jeremy Fucking Meddling Hard Man Anti-Christ Son Of A Bitch Kyle to but I think my brain would explode out of pure hate. I fucking LOVE to hate him so much. He think's hes God, got news for you pal....Ok, Ok... I'll stop, Got carried away there...

Byee

Unnecessary Purchases

2009-08-07T15:35:00.000-07:00

I didn't abuse any 2 for £10 offers today, the Bowie albums did tempt me though. Instead I went for Left 4 Dead after much umming and awwing. I didn't want to pay over £30 for it seeing as it's relatively old..I settled for £32. It is pretty cool though, I might write about it over on Nerdcopter.

One Hour Photo was brilliant, a lot creepier then I expected. Further reinforced my opinion that Robin Williams is a better serious actor then a comic actor. He was amazing in it, really turned the role into somthing special. I can't look at him the same now though just because of his eerie performance. Now I can kind of understand why my mother didn't want me to see it too young, just that one scene...With the eyes...Urgh...

As I am writing this, Russell Brands Ponderland is playing in the background. Change that, it WAS on. That guy is way too annoying to exist. His ponderland sucks mega ass. I did give his proper stand-up a try just to give him a fair trial. He can be funny, just not often. The thing is you can only really appreciate his comedy if instead of screaming at the TV and pulling your hair out due to how annoying his voice is, you just bite your tongue, until it bleeds and force yourself to sit through it. The pro's don't out way the con's i'm afraid. The ponderland is 10 times worse as that though! It's like....Imagine you have a funny friend and everyone think's he's funny and he knows he's funny. But occasionally, like most of us, he makes a joke that sounds good in his head, but the moment the joke leaves his lips... He realises it's just not funny and he is greeted by an awkward silence and forced mumbling laughter. THAT'S Ponderland...for an hour or however long its on. I know i didn't describe it very well, i'm sure you know the feeling though.

That's all for now

Byee

P.S. Did NOT feel good last night after the WKD/Fosters. When will i learn...

Looks like i'm not a complete loner after all...

2009-08-06T14:29:00.000-07:00

You read correct! I'm not a sad lonely loner, sitting in my room blogging and spinning round on my swivel chair. Not all the time anyway. These past few day's have been spent with my good friends J (Or sxc J as he must now be called) and Pj, as their parents are ELSEWHERE. I find coming over to there house an excuse to drink and an excuse to drink WKD Blue. The reasons are behind this are that it's better when i'm not drinking alone and because they accept that I drink a girls drink.

But! WKD Blue is lushessness in a bottle. It tastes of blue. To be honest i'm not sure what it's supposed to taste like. Lets see what the bottle says. We can always rely on the bottle.

"Sparkling Alcoholic Premix Blending Mixed Fruit Flavours With Triple Distilled Vodka To Create The Original WKD Vodka Blue. Contains Caffeine."

Reading that for the first time actually made me feel sick. I mean...WOW. Lets break this down shall we? I can't, I just don't know where to begin. It sounds like a biological weapon. Sure tastes good though, I love the fact it said "Contains Caffeine" at the end. If your ok with everything it said before hand then caffeine is not going to phase you... Ah well, I still have one bottle left and I intend to drink it.

Tomorrow i'm venturing into swindon and since my Job Seekers Allowance has finally been sorted out. I don't think i've mentioned my job seekers before, but basicly they fucked it up and after many letters and many minutes spent on hold something has been sorted out and I end up with a cheque for £117. So i'm a happy chappy. Thanks to this saviour in the form of a cheque, I can spend more tomorrow. I'm considering abusing some 2 for £20 deals.

Tonight we watch One Hour Photo, a film I have been wanting to see for a long time. When it came out I wanted to see it but my mother wouldn't let me. Way too over protective when it came to films. I bet she was worried I would become some kinda psycho serial killer. But my dad was just like, yeah whatever, that how I had seen the Alien films by year 9. He let my sister watch Saw when she was 12. I'm not sure whats worse, the fact my dad let her or the fact she wanted to see it. Either way I ended up watching them as well. Some people are fucked up.

A final thought before I leave to continue having a social life. And a sad thought at that. I'm at a friends house, supposedly trying to have a laugh, and i'm blogging... Dear god...

Definitley Byee

Nerds and Food Challenges

2009-08-04T16:43:00.000-07:00

I've started the second blog. I've realised that this blog has started to get infected with my gaming rants and I don't want it to turn into just game shiz over here. So now all my time on this blog will be devoted to random crap.

Not much happened today :S. In fact nothing happened today, I really did less then usual. And that's saying somthing. I did however start my day with a cookie.

Now, I want to confess and sort of...put the question/challenge out there. You know the good cookies...the ones where you get 5 in a bag. The soft doughy cookies. We're not talking Maryland here. Can you eat a whole bag on your own? I've only ever managed 3 and a half. They taste SO good but I just don't think it's possible. Another food challenge I have attempted, Is how many Oreo's can you eat in a minute. I think I managed 4, it's surprisingly difficult. Typing all this out has made me feel really fat... Then again there is this guy...

And the balance is restored.. He SERIOUSLY needs to wash his hair/get a life/loose some weight/meet some girls.

The whole eating well thing made me remember one of my friends...techniques, I suppose i'll call it. He isn't fat or anything but he has a little routine that makes him feel healthy. I once stayed round his for a couple days with a load of other people. We all had chinese takeaways, ordered too much, I gave up. He powered through a ridiculous amount of food, then ate an apple to "balance it out". I then questioned this, mentioning the fact that, in no way does that work. He acknowledged this and just said it made him feel healthy. Can't argue with that I guess.

Another food challenge, is the Pizza Hut Large Challenge. Originated in Reading, with 3 good friends, J,P and M. P had no chance from the start, he had a seperate challenge. I tasked him to order his 'Large Meat Feast' Pizza while looking straight at the waitress and without laughing. The time comes to order, we all cope with our orders. P surprisingly manages to pull it off, dispite the image of me laughing into my coke in the corner of his eye. Then came the question... The question that gave him no escape.. The question to end all hope of holding back the laughter building up behind our straight faces...

"Thick or thin crust?"

I sputtered a short burst of laughter into my coke, P lost it. I can't recall M and J's reactions but i'm sure they were similar. Poor waitress.. Back to the large challenge. It must have taken me 3/4 of an hour but I did finish it. M somehow wolfed his down without even trying, actually quite frightening to watch. P never ordered a large because he's a baby who still has chicken nuggets at McDonalds. Finally, there was J. He put a lot of effort into it but just couldn't force that last slice down. He later redeemed himself at another Pizza Hut, with an equally hilarious waitress story, i'll save that for another time.

It's now 5 past 1 and i'm not sleepy but if I dont attempt sleep now it probably won't happen till 4. So i'm going to shove on some Green Wing or Peep Show and go to bed.

Byee

Awesome follow up.

2009-08-03T14:56:00.000-07:00

Couple of things I forgot to add earlier.

You may remember a while ago I mentioned i'm trying to say awesome less. It's proved to be pretty difficult. It seems that there is no word meaning 'good' at the same...level as awesome. You can say 'Great' which isn't as good as awesome. Or 'Brilliant/Excellent' which is too far. There is nothing in between, without falling into the 'saying cool all the time' trap as my friend D does.

Fudge, i've forgotten the other point I wanted to make, again.

Umm Ummm Ummmmm, DAMN IT.

Whatever it was, you'll have to cope without.

NOPE, it's back. It's not very interesting just funny. Best typo ever today while talking to my friend on msn. We were discussing all the games he never finished. I meant to say 'Shame, Your missing out on so many games' It came out 'Shame, Your missing out on so many dames'.

How had we not thought of that rhyme before?! So now its our motto: Games and Dames...That's all we need. Which I admit does make me sound like a womaniser but it couldn't be further from the truth.

Byee

P.s With help from PJ, my first tattoo shall be a midget leaning on a tiki mask.

Wußphang!

2009-08-03T13:54:00.000-07:00

Well, first of all. I couldn't think of a title because I just plan on rambling on as usual with no real intentions. So I used Wußphang!. And that my friends...is my very own comic book noise. Long time ago in year 10 or 11 one of my friends decided his was Famshizzle. I wanted my own. Wußphang was the logical choice. Pronounced Wuss-phang, in case you never took german.

As usual my day consisted of getting through the day without dying of boredom. Todays main time waster was Malcolm in the Middle. Which in my opinion...actually wait. IS the single most underrated show of all time. FACT. The infamous J brought this to my attention the other day, when she told me that she saw one episode once and thought it was meh. I can watch this show for ages, its brilliant, it really is. It fulfills your childish sense of humour and your slightly more mature (not that mature) sense of humour. Shame it never made it to DVD, well series 1 did. Sorry that should be season, its american. Season 1 made it to DVD but nobody wants to watch season 1 over and over. I would love all 7 seasons on DVD, it would be the pride of my ever growing collection next to my Peep Show 1-5 box set, £15!!! Deal of the century or what?!

Another time waster of today..I say time waster but i've been looking forward to it for quite some time. That's right, i'm going nerdy. The final DLC (Downloadable Content) for Fallout 3 came out today. Shame it's the last one but there has been 5 and thats more the most game companies do. Bethesda rule basicly. They make the best RPG games that last forever and then continue to support them with amazing add-ons. So yeah, Mothership Zeta came out today and as I type away, I am constantly battling the temptation to turn it on and play it. I don't want to rush it or i'll just end up getting bored again, i'm making it last. Although Batman: Arkham Asylum comes out on the 28th and i've got my pre-order down, so it wouldn't be too bad.

I'll turn off the nerd now.

For the first week in many, I have some plans for once. It feels so good. Wednesday i'm off to a friends till friday. I'm predicting WKD Blue, Guiness, Cider and unhealthy amounts of Xbox. Then on the friday we head off into swindon for a mooch around. Then saturday is work as usual, but ending it off with one of my mates finally turning 18 and BBQ/party/thing at his, then hopefully a pub crawl. Should make a change from...doing...nothing...all...day..

I'm running out of stuff to talk about and I haven't given myself a good reason to post a video or picture.. Hmmm.

I know! I'll introduce you to the best song of all time.

Byee

P.s. You've got to do the cooking by the book!

Realisations from last night.

2009-08-02T11:01:00.000-07:00

1. The Negotiator is a great film
2. Kevin Spacey can make any movie twice the awesome
3. Going to bed at half 4 in the morning leads to longer lie-ins
4. I need sleeping pills.

That is all.

Some Random Thoughts...

2009-08-01T17:55:00.001-07:00

Yet again i'm not sleepy...

Thought number 1 people!

Not really a thought, more an...annoyance. I assume you've all seen About A Boy, course you have, everyone has. Remember Will's Dad's song, Santa's Super Sleigh? THAT SONG WON'T LEAVE MY FUDGING HEAD! I don't even know why! I watched it...like a month ago, why come back to haunt me now? Ho ho ho and a hey hey hey, it's santas fucking sleigh. It's driving me insane. Usually I just listen to another song to get rid of the annoying one. Several reasons why i'm not doing this. 1.Takes too long to open itunes. 2. I'm getting bored of most my music. 3. It's too late at night and i'll wake people up.

...

*notices his ipod sitting literally less then 10cm away from him*

Problem Solved.

Next musing. I'm a massive nerd. It hasn't just hit me or anything, I know I am and I fudging love it. But i've never really put it across in my blogtastic blog. Thinking about it though, does the fact that I blog at all show that i'm nerdy? No offense to all the bloggers out there... Anyway, Nerd Time. I got paid yesterday and the first thing I did was makes probably the second best purchase of my life. (If your nerdy enough to realise how that sentence relates to what i'm about to talk about, will you be my best friend?) Yeah, I bought The Secret Of Monkey Island: Special Edition for my beloved yet dying Xbox 360. I'm completely addicted, I never want to finish it. I spent 2 and a half hours on it today. Didn't get very far (ITS DIFFICULT) but it's just SO good. I never played this when it first came out (1990). I was busy not being born that day. But I played the 3rd in the series "The Curse Of Monkey Island" 3 or 4 times over. The Monkey Island games are among the funniest games ever, I seriously recommend them. I'm hoping they'll remake Secret Of Monkey Island 2 and Grim Fandango and bring it to the xbox. It's a shame adventure games went out of style, it's one of the few things Lucasarts can do right...fudging cash cow. YOU CAN'T TAKE BACK EPISODE 1-3 NOW LUCAS!

I feel so nerdy.

If you've been wondering why I say 'fudge' instead of fuck most the time, it's because I swear too much. If I replace them with fudge then when I actually swear it's funnier..Well, I think so anyway. Doesn't really matter I swear like a motherfudger in real life.

I'll never forget the day my mum found out I swear. She used to think I was a very well behaved person. I was staying round my aunts with my cousins for a week in the summer holidays when I was about 14 or 15. We slept out in their garden in a tent. My cousins swore a lot as well, but their mum knew about it. Anyway one day, mid-week. We were bored of Timesplitters. So we decided to make a movie of some sort, I honestly can't remember what our plan was. But we had a camera. We started filming somthing, I was on camera, my cousin S was filming. My other cousin B was fudging about. I can't remember exactly what happened after that. Skip to the end of the week, my mums arrived to pick me up. I'm upstairs playing Timesplitters again. We all come downstairs to see whats going on and it turns out, my mum, sister, older cousin and aunt are all watching our videos. I start to panic but it's obvious that they haven't seen any of the bad ones...yet. The next video that comes on as I walk in the room is a particular video where the camera comes right up to my face and for some reason my reaction is this...

"Fuck Off" *sticks middle finger up*

I'll never forget the look of disappointment/blind rage in my mothers eyes. She didn't talk to me for about 2 or 3 days after that. You can imagine how awkward the 2 hours car journey home was. Good times...

I'm sure I had more thoughts when I started this.

Fudge it, I'm leaving at that. I'm still not tired. I'll watch a movie I guess.

Byee

P.S. I killed another moth the other night. Felt very guilty afterwards. I have now vowed to shut my window before it gets too dark. No more moth's shall die because of me.

I've gone back in time.

2009-07-19T14:39:00.000-07:00

Short post today I think.

I seemed to have been transported back to the 60's. My most recent bands listened to reads: David Bowie, Jimi Hendrix, The Who and The Beatles. It's amazing how easy it is to tell 60's music. It's just so much more upbeat and sort of.. more hopeful. A lot more acoustic guitar too. I love it, I feel like a hippy. One of my friends from work suggested watching the dvd of Woodstock, so I have added it to my ever growing list of DVD's on my DVD rental. (Sgt.Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band just ended.) It currently has (Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds just started) 41 titles lined up. How i'm going to get through them all I don't know, yes all my time is free time at the moment but the more films I watch, the more I add.

Thank God for DVD rentals being online though. Such a great idea. I currently have Carnival of Sins Live (Motley Crue) and Crackdown for the Xbox 360 (which turned out to be really fun). I'm getting back into films recently, I used to be a major movie buff but the gaming took over. (Lucy in the sky just ended).(Getting Better just started) After seeing 'Moon' today, my love for films has been reawakened. I really urge everyone to go watch Moon, it's amazing. Certainly better then Harry Potter that every average joe is going to see. Wanna be different? See what a REAL movie is? Go see Moon. It will blow your mind, you think Harry Potter has an interesting plot...

I should point out, I actually own the Harry Potter box set, It was a christmas present...that I asked for... I know, I know. What a hypocrite, right? (Getting Better just ended) (Fixing a Hole just started) But sometimes I need a switch my brain off kind of film and Harry Potter ticks the box either that or Die Hard.

Byee

P.S. Theres no P.S. today

P.P.S HAHA MIND FUCK

The moths are out to get me.

2009-07-16T06:09:00.000-07:00

Well, I didn't make it to 3 last night. Last time I looked at the clock last night was 20 past 2. But it's all down to that damn moth.

I was actually really tired last night, went into bed about midnight, watched the end of Office Space. Ready for sleep, couldn't keep my eyes open. Within 2 minutes of closing my eyes, the bloody moth that had been buzzing around my light all day, came back. He went quiet for ages so I thought he managed to get out the window. Turned out he had been trapped between my blinds and the window, now...being the clever creatures that moths are, he started smashing into the blinds repeatedly. It drove me insane.

I got up to try and catch it but it stopped making noise. I went back to my bed and it came back. this went on for about half an hour. Everytime I got up to get it, it would stop and I wouldn't be able to find it. Eventually it got out from behind the blinds and onto my pillow. This was about 15 past 2 I imagine. By this point i'd had enough. I grabbed a towel, folded it in half, and smacked the little bugger across the room.

I couldn't find the body which was annoying because I spent the rest of the night paranoid that it was in my bed somewhere. That'll teach me for having my window open...

Byee

Side note: As usual, while typing this up, another thought came into my head. I imagine this is probably just me. But whenever I go to bed, most nights the first thing that comes into my head are the things that freak me out most. Last night it was that once my sister told me she had read that apparently spiders crawl in your mouth when you sleep, or somthing like that. At the time i scoffed and told her thats stupid. But when your lying in bed, about to go to sleep, you can't help but worry. Another thing that usually comes into my head, is this one part of the game Bioshock, that made me jump out of my skin and exclaim loudly. I'll get a youtube link to it, instead of describing it. It won't be scary on youtube, just imagine you were playing this, really close to the tv with the sound up.

I reckon everyone has a little fear of the dark, it's the not knowing whats there. I had a proper fear of the dark when I was younger, I also thought there was a gorilla living in the cupboard but thats a story for another time. Part of that fear never left me, after reliving that moment in bioshock, you can't help but imagine that crazy dentist behind you.. Well, I can't anyway.

If Only Tonight I Could Sleep

2009-07-15T11:45:00.000-07:00

Not only is that the name of the song i'm listening to. It also happens to be the phrase going through my head every night as I lay in my bed wide awake at 4 in the morning.

It's not good. Maybe i'll become an insomniac, not by choice of course, although it does sound cool. I could print it on business cards:

*Insert my name here*
Professional Insomniac

Sounds good you have to agree.

But seriously, it's getting ridiculous. I find about midnight I get really tired but I usually find somthing to do and work through the tiredness barrier until i'm awake again. I tried listening to my ipod for a while but because i'm so obssessive compulsive I just can't help thinking "What if I fall asleep with it on and I drain my battery/strangle myself with my headphones" Equal worries in my opinion. I just had an idea, not a useful idea, but an idea none the less. If i'm still awake at half 3 tonight, which is likely. I will turn my pc back on and blog. Just for funsies. Chocolate funsies.

Byee

Side thought: This is about fire alarms. As I was writing this my fire alarm went off. Now, i'm hoping i'm not the only one but our alarm goes off all the time because it's crap. The thing is though, say there was a fire, I most likely wouldn't budge. I sat straight through that one without even thinking about it. Would I sit here blogging as my house burns down around me? Will my last words be posted online? We shall see...

I'll make a promise right now, if this happens, with my last breath, I will click Publish Post.

Progression through music.

2009-07-15T08:40:00.000-07:00

I was thinking today as I forced myself out the front door at half 8 this morning, how my music tastes have changed. If you had asked me my favourite bands 3 or 4 years ago they would have been. The Cure, Snow Patrol, Franz Ferdinand, Kaiser Chiefs, Athlete and Embrace. Ask me now...Motley Crue, Duff McKagan's Loaded, Dethklok, Radiohead, Metallica, Placebo... Quite the difference there. I mean 3 years ago I would have been listening to The Feeling. THE FEELING, how gross is that. Won't catch me doing that nowadays. *Shudders*

So then I was thinking, how did this happen. Back in the day's of year 10, my time was spent with my best mate A. He was a rocker from the start, singing Gun's n Rose's, Sabbath and Maiden (badly), all day every day. I shunned that music as much as I shun Miley Cyrus now, I hated rock. I used to say it all sounded the same and indie/pop is the way to go. I guess i'm not really sure how it happened. Part of it must have been from Chemistry...

Me and A used to doss about all day every day, all year at school. We just didn't care. We had ridiculous little games we would play just to make the day go faster. For example, we used to see who could hover over their seats longest without sitting down or the teacher noticing, we used to headbang at eachother to see who backed out first. We created One-Inch-Punch wars. We started mexican waves whenever our teacher turned away. We would try to launch pencils at the wall and see if they would stick. Literally ANYTHING we could think of to get through the day. Once me and A wanted to test the 'Not allowed on the field without a teacher' rule. So we just started walking away from the tennis courts and straight out into the field. We made it to the other side... But when we got back, well, we had a welcome back reception from:
All the dinner ladies (4 of them)
The head of year
The deputy head
The ever popular P.E. teacher who i'm sure I will get round to blogging about soon
And the new Head Teacher to take over from the current one at the end of the year.

Afterschool detention delight.

ANYWAY, i've strayed from the topic. But that builds a picture of what I was like. So it will come to no shock when i say Me and A didn't do our science coursework. The next few weeks after the deadline we spent in afterschools working on it. That is when A began the process of converting me. He used to play endless Maiden and Sabbath songs on his phone throughout our detentions. At the time I just ignored it but it must have started somthing. After that I guess it was down to PJ and J who got me into rock, introducing me to Andrew W.K., Motley Crue etc.

And now here I am...I've been to one of the heaviest music festivals in England. I'm glad the change took place really, I can't imagine my life without rock music. It's become essential to my every day routine. First thing I did this morning was putting on 'Motherfucker of the Year' by Motley Crue on. If you haven't heard it, I recommend it.

Well, thats enough for now. I'll most likely be back here later on tonight. I owe J one more blog post. Better get thinking...

Byee

Frustration and more frustration

2009-07-08T13:25:00.000-07:00

Well, not having the GREATEST week of all time but it has given me some thoughts to blog about. I'll start with the most extreme case of my frustration this week. It's all 'The Bourne Conspiracy's fault, that game is insanely difficult, I finished it today but yesterday it got to me...big time. After the 7th attempt at the same part of this ridiculously hard level I exclaimed loudly (can't remember what word, think the rage just blacked it out) and then launched my controller across the room. That controller is now broken, it apparently landed button side down and the analog stick got pushed right inside the controller. So thats another £30 I don't have that I need to spend, it's not too bad I have another, but it means I can't play Nazi Zombies with my mates.

Somthing else that frustrated me this morning...It was pure torture, I woke up at about 10 to 11 for some reason but was still knackered after I stayed awake till 3 to watch The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. But as I was so tired that I couldn't be bothered to get up. I shoved the TV on flicked through the channels to realise theres nothing on but I ended up on Desperate Housewives. That show is pure shite. It was an episode where the handyman (and apparently only nice person on the show) dies. Then all the sluts went through flashbacks of how they were being idiots/sluts/morons/idiotic slutt morons and how the handyman helped them out. After each flashback they all realised that they should do somthing for his funeral. Now... This might just be me but when someone I know dies, I would know to do somthing nice or thoughtful for them or their family pretty much...yeah, straight away. I certainly wouldn't need to go into a fudging trance while constantly thinking about myself and then realising other people in my life. I HATE that show, its awful.

I reckon the town it's set in, is hell. The nice people die, the evil nasty people rule it AND theres a spooky narration that never lets you feel at ease. Or it could be some experimental town ruled by aliens because the ginger woman DOES look like an alien forced into a human suit. She freaks me out. Nothing to do with the fact shes ginger, i'm going to add just in case it seems like that. IN FACT I have Amy Adams as my wallpaper so...
She is FINE..

Byee

Download Festival MK II

2009-07-06T07:44:00.000-07:00

Well, as you will no doubt remember my very first post contained my 2 line review of Download Festival:
"Well....What the fudge do i write about now? I've just come back from Download Festival...that was good, ummmm..."

I have just finished reading J's blog post about her trip to see Blur (lucky bihatch) and I thought that I should go back and rewrite my review seeing as I am not as skeptical about blogging as I was back then. I might even make an effort this time!

Where to start...The beginning I suppose. That would be my media exam, I know, not what you expected me to say. But me and my mate P went into our media exam literally 3 hours before we were leaving to the one and only Download Festival. Not the most fun 3 hours of my life I can tell you. After that passed we rushed back to my place, packed our stuff into my stepdads car, got in the car, got out the car, ran back to my room to grab CD's: Motley Crue - Red, White and Crue, Dream Theater - Constant Motion and Def Leppard - Best Of. NOW we were off, not long after we arrived at PJ and J's house and used the well known greeting 'DOWNLOAD'. Same thing here, got in the car, got out the car, grabbed CD's: Guns N Roses - Appetite for Destruction, Best of Heavy Metal and somthing else i have forgotten.

3 glorious Motley Crue filled hours later and we had arrived. On our way into the drop off point, P had his first genius idea of the week. Saying 'Haha Lesbians' quite loudly, while the window was open, as we drove past this couple (guy and girl) with dreadlocks. This is when I realised we were probably going to die. About an hour and a half later we had set up our tent, opened the beer and watched PJ and J struggle with their tent. The first day went quite quickly after that,we wondered around, checked out the shops and the fair. Got drunk, slept.

Friday: Started with me waking up pretty much cooked to a crisp as I woke up in the middle of the night shivering and so put 2 hoodies on. Bad idea. The first band of the day and week was Hollywood Undead, they weren't bad, not really my thing but PJ wanted to go. Next up was In This Moment and that was just funny. Everytime the singer tried to hold a long note, she got quieter and quieter, and because we were sat down right at the back we couldn't see her. So I pointed out it sounded like she was falling down a long hole, getting further and further away from the mic. The rest of the day is a blur until Lacuna Coil, we went to see Staind in between. Lacuna Coil were my unexpected highlight, they were amazing. Plus Cristina Scabbia is HAWT. But the moment they played Spellbound, I was in love. They really rocked. After them came Opeth, none of knew what to expect, but luckily i went out to the edge of the crowd so I could leave to go see Duff McKagan. But Opeth came out...lead singer looks like Chad Kroegers evil twin and then continued to scream and shout through the first 3 songs. I felt sorry for the other guys who stayed in the middle of the crowd to wait for Crue.

Anyway, I left to go to Duff McKagan's Loaded on my own. I got there early to get close and caught the end of Backyard Babies, who also rocked. But now was the moment I had been waiting for ever since I heard about Download Festival. My favourite band of all time..Well ever since I got bored of The Cure anyway. They opened with Sick, probably one of my least favourite of theres but its still Duff so I didn't care. When the played Sleaze Factory is when I really woke up. I'm glad they played some of their older songs mixed in with their new album and then the amazing Guns n Roses covers they did. Including a short Paradise City/Welcome to the Jungle medley, So Fine and It's So Easy with the lead singer of Slipknot. When he came out the crowd went mental and started moshing, and a punk guy who made me feel short started pushing into me, I just thought fudge it, I wanted to get into a mosh pit and here I am. So I pushed back, it was quite fun actually. One more thing that stood out from their set, was their AMAZING cover of I Wanna Be Your Dog by Iggy and the Stooges. I love that song anyway, but their cover is so much better. Such an amazing band.

Final band of the day was Motley Crue, I came in late because of Duff but I caught a lot of their gig. They were also amazing, Tommy Lee got all emotional when he was thanking us for supporting them and we started chanting his name, he also passed a bottle of Jeger (EVIL drink) back through the crowd. And he wiped his butt on one of the flags that someone was waving about on stage. Such a legend. Best song for me was Primal Scream, SO glad I saw that live.

I'll write up saturday and sunday some other time, I feel this has gone on long enough.

Byee

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